She's No Angel
by C.Queen
Summary: Sequel to To Heaven or To Hell. Cat's God's latest messenger and she's doing it her way. Now it's not just the boys that deserve to be pitied.
1. God's Biggest Mistake?

Disclaimer: As always I own nothing but the original characters and the ideas that came from my twisted little head. Thanks to all those who read the original and thanks to those who've decided to keep reading my twisted little story. Hope you like.

God's Biggest Mistake?

A man of about fifty stood at the top of the twenty story building and wished for the courage to jump. He'd been standing on the edge for a good twenty minutes but had yet to find the courage to even lean forward. Not much of a surprise though. He'd always been a coward. Hell, what he was trying to do was cowardly. But he couldn't go home. He couldn't face his wife or his kids. The best thing he could do, the only thing he could do was end it all here and now. He just needed to fall forward and then let gravity end it all for him. God but he was such a coward.

"Will you just hurry up and jump already? For God sakes. You've been standing there for over twenty minutes now, you stupid assehole."

Freezing the man carefully turned towards the voice, staring at the lone figure he hadn't even noticed approach. It was a woman from the voice, she was in the shadows and sounded tough but young. She was about average height and watching her walk towards him he couldn't shake the huge feeling of dread the sight of her caused him.

"I mean come on. Hurry up and get it over with so that I can leave." The woman continued, close enough that he could see her clearly. She had hair short as a boy, tussled from the faint breeze that also sent her ankle length leather jacket swirling around her legs.

She was dressed all in black and he wondered if maybe she was some demon come to drag him down to hell. Biting back a rather hysterical laugh brought on by fear and nerves he shook like a leaf. "Who are you? What do you want?"

* * *

"I'm the person who's stuck watching you be a big baby. And of all the ways to kill yourself you had to chose this one. Now I have to watch you splatter what little brains you have all over the concrete and whatever else you hit on the way down. Do you have any idea how nauseating and disgusting that is? I'm not going to be able to eat anything tonight which is going to blow because someone else is making the food tonight so it sure as hell will be better anything then I could make." The woman informed him, the fact that she was pissed off quite obvious.

"No one asked you to watch." Was his weak protest, instinctively shrinking under her verbal bashing. He'd never pretended to have a spine after all and she was starting to scare him more then the idea of falling. There was just something about her...

"Now that's where you're wrong, tubby. You see I have to be here because the angelic asseholes upstairs said I have to. You see they hate me up there so they always stick me with the pathetic, not worth saving types like you. Thanks to you I'm going to be late tonight and there's no way in hell he's going to believe I didn't do it on purpose." He was informed as the woman continued to move closer so that now there was only a meter or so between them. She had golden eyes, the man thought dimly. Like a cat's and he was the mouse. "So you see William Arthur Clancy...you'd better decide whether you want to jump or not because I'm getting really pissed off at you."

"How..how do you know my name?"

* * *

"Oh I know just about everything there is to know about you, Willie. I know that you're the only child of two parents who are currently in a retirement home and will be devastated for some reason over your death. I know you have a wife named Julie and two boys, all unaware that you're a mob toy and that you're going to kill yourself because you saw a man murdered. You don't have the balls to go to the police but your conscience is too much for you to bear so you figured to take the easy way out of your responsibility. You're a soft man with soft hands who told himself that being the accountant of a man with mob connections didn't make you a bad person. After all you were just keeping the books, right? Who cares if you knew where the money was coming from after all. So long as you kept getting your little bonuses." Cat informed him, bad temperedly crossing her arms in front of her as she glared at her latest little assignment. If she ever got the chance she was going to strangle Pete with his damn halo. Just see if she didn't. She'd laugh maniacally while she did it and that would be worth once again throwing her shot at heaven away.

"Did they...did they send you?" William choked, looking at her in acute terror, picturing a death far worse then falling off the damn building.

"Oh please, as if a small fry like you would be worth paying someone of my talent and skills to have you offed. If I was the boss I'd just pay some goon to run you over since you aren't even worth the price of a bullet from where I'm standing." Cat informed him with a sneer. "And to answer your question no, they still don't know that you saw anything. You run good when you need to, don't you? Too bad you didn't do more of it throughout your life, then you wouldn't make so big a mass to squash anyone that might be walking below when you finally jump."

"Then...if they didn't hire you...what do you mean...angelic?" William whispered, remembering that now that he knew she apparently wasn't here to kill him. "Just who are you..really?"

* * *

"Who am I? I'm a messenger of God." Cat informed him as she was suddenly surrounded by light, a byproduct from her wings becoming visible to mortal eyes. They were a soft gray mostly with some white ones here and there. Her wings also had black tips on the ends to symbolize her soul. The better she did as a messenger of God the more her wings were supposed to go white. Needless to say Cat was proud of her black tips and wanted to keep them. Bathed in pure golden light you'd think she'd look more angelic but really, she just looked like a bad ass with wings standing in front of a spot light.

Gasping in fear William took a couple steps back which unfortunately had him falling backwards, his arms wind milling rapidly as he gave a decidedly girlie scream as he went over the edge, his hands latching onto the edge in a death grip. Fingers digging painfully into brick he looked up to see the woman with wings looking down at him with some interest. "Help me!" He gasped, too scared to reach up to her. He didn't care what she was so long as she helped him.

"Help you by stomping on your fingers to make you let go or help get you onto solid ground again? Because if it's the first as much as I'd like to I can't. I'm already numero uno on Saint Petie's hit list." Cat informed him regretfully. "Sorry."

"HELP ME UP!"

"Oh...well that I have to do." Cat said with a sigh and leaning forward encircled his wrists with her fingers. With superhuman strength she literally lifted him up and around, dumping him onto the floor where she watched him sniffle and whimper like a little baby as he curled up into a ball. "Oh hell, have some dignity for Christ sakes. I've met children with more guts then you."

"God's sent you here to punish me." The man sobbed, sounding rather like she'd kicked him in the crotch which was what she was tempted to do, if only to give him a good reason to be crying. It was just sad seeing a grown man act like this. Heero would have shot the man by now.

"If he sent me here to punish you don't you think I'd have helped you along your way to hell?" Cat pointed out dryly, envisioning wrapping her arms around that fat throat and shaking until what little brain activity there was ceased.

* * *

"You're the angel of death?" He asked, down to just whimpering as he sat up, brushing his tears away with his hands like a child. That would make sense, especially with the dark clothing. She was certainly scarier then the Grim Reaper.

"Do I look like an angel to you?" Cat demanded, her tone of voice indicating she'd just been insulted in her opinion. "I'm not an angel, I'm a messenger. BIG difference."

"There is?" He asked in confusion.

"Yeah, there is. Angels are immortal beings who go around doing things for people because they want everyone to be as maniacally happy as they are. Messengers are just people who've been given a second chance on earth to do some good before they croak again." Cat corrected, having been asked this question so many times she'd just wanted to pull out a gun and do some mass destruction. "I get assignments from above to help worms like you make the right decisions in life before you f#k your life up anymore than you already have."

"So..so jumping really is the right thing to do for everyone?" William asked, getting shakily to his feet as he tried to absorb what she'd said. It was all completely unbelievable but those wings were pretty hard to ignore. That and he was afraid of what she'd do to him of he called her a liar or questioned anything she said.

"No, but it's what you're going to do." Cat said very matter of fact, as though that was the only possible outcome. "What you should do is go to the police and tell them everything you saw and heard while you were in that building. You should turn over your accounting books so that they'll have the proof needed to put these people in jail. In other words you should do the right thing. But we both know you don't have what it takes to be a man even once in your life."

"But if I do that they'll come after my family." William protested weakly, trying to justify what he intended to do. "This is the only way."

* * *

"Oh please, you're just using that as an excuse. You can lie to everyone else but don't insult me by thinking I'm that stupid. Your wife and kids have nothing to do with this. You're just hiding behind them to excuse the fact that you can't be the kind of man they think you are. You want to jump because you can't face yourself, much less them. If you did agree to testify and turn your information over the police would help you and your family get away to somewhere where you'll be safe from these men. But you aren't willing to take that risk, even so that that innocent man killed got some justice in this world as well as the next. It doesn't matter to you at all that he was just some innocent kid at the wrong place at the wrong time. That he had parents, siblings, friends. People who are combing the streets for him as we stand here, wondering what happened to him. People who will never know unless someone steps forward to tell them that he died an honorable death, trying to do the right thing by helping that girl your boss's thugs were roughing up. She's dead too you know. They had their fun with her then they threw her out with the kid, like they were both garbage. The way someone like you deserves to be thrown out. He would have gone straight to the police. He wouldn't have run away from doing the right thing. And you know, it could have been Bobby or Andy in that garbage bag." Cat informed him, watching him go pale at the names of his sons. "Their mother raised them right. They would have tried to do the right thing too."

"Oh God. Oh God help me." He moaned, doubling over with his face in his hands.

"Well duh, what the hell do you think I'm here for?" Cat reminded him, clearly exasperated with his stupidity. "What part of I'm a messenger from God don't you get?"

"But...but you want me to die."

"No, I want you to do the right thing. Problem is I don't think you can." Cat told him, walking over to yank him to his feet. "Now if you want to do the right thing I'll take you to the police station and I will help you at least spill your guts about what you know. The question is what do you want? Do you want your sons to know you sacrificed everything to do the right thing or do you want them to know their dad was nothing but a spineless loser who jumped off a building to become road kill rather then speak up. The choice is of course yours. It might help you to know just what awaits you on the other side if you don't change your tune." She added, a rather sadistic smile crossing her face as she spent the next five minutes telling him just what hell had in store for him. After two minutes he was begging her to take him to the nearest police station.

* * *

When Lieutenant Cat Rorake walked into the police department everyone came on alert. For the last two years she'd been a routine visitor, often dragging with her someone who looked like they'd spent days being tortured in multiple and inhumane ways. They were usually terrified of Cat and eager to testify about something they knew about or had done. They were always eager to get away from her too which led to the question of why they were with her in the first place. They never said a word against her but it was pretty much agreed amongst the staff that Cat's "victims" were just too scared of the woman to speak even a syllable against her. Of all the cops in the precient Cat only dealt with Lieutenant Roger Michaels, another cause for speculation since Cat would never talk to anyone else and had been known to make her victims wait hours until the cop got back from where ever he was. At first there had been speculation of a romantic relationship until Cat had shoved her left hand under the nose of one gossiping detective to reveal a wedding band on her ring finger. Then she'd told the poor guy that if she heard him gossiping about her again she'd remove his hand so that he'd never be able to put a similar band on the right side.

"He's not in, Lieutenant." Detective Alicia Cross informed Cat as the younger woman strolled in with a death grip on a fifty something man who looked like a heart attack waiting to happen. In other words like most of Cat's companions.

"When will he be back?" Cat demanded to know, her eyes flashing dangerously. She was behind and she wasn't in the mood to wait around for Michaels to get his ass in gear. She'd saved the bastard's life after all. The least the guy could do was be in his office when she damn well needed him to be.

"He's on vacation, Sir." Was the detective's reply, Cross already wincing before Cat began cursing. Cat's temper was legendary after all. Waiting for the cursing to end she continued once Cat paused for breath. "What's this one want to confess about?"

"You do this often?" William asked, looking at Cat fearfully. Her grip on his wrist was cutting off circulation but he was too scared to ask her to loosen her grip.

Glaring him into terrified silence Cat turned her attention back to the detective. Cat tried to remember what she knew about this detective but couldn't recall anything other then the woman had never pissed her off in the past. "Damn it. I need someone of rank and you're gonna want the AP pronto. This idiots got some interesting things to say and the last thing we need is a leak. Any suggestions other then your donut for brains captain?"

* * *

"What was that, Lieutenant?" Came a cold, I'm a big man so do as I say voice. A voice that was like nails raking against a chalkboard to Cat who was already in a piss poor mood. Now the captain had to show up.

"Oh, so you need your ears checked as well as your recent rapid depletion of brain cells." Cat said sweetly, her eyes glaring daggers as she spread her legs slightly, getting into a more defensive stance as she stared down the captain of this particular division. He was an overfed, sexist, raciest and all around assehole in Cat's books and there was nothing she hated more then seeing his face on a good day, much less a bad one.

"You would be wise to watch your mouth. This is my department and I call the shots in here." Captain Trent Shiomi warned, his eyes flaring in return. He hated the Preventers Organization in general and this particular member of it with a rare and powerful hatred. Every time he met her he wanted to empty of chamber of bullets into her head that much more.

"And the only reason you're captain is because you married your boss's daughter who you're cheating on." Cat shot back with a smirk, enjoying the sight of his face going as red as a tomato. Sometimes having access to the angelic grape vine could come in handy.

"Oh that's it. Detective, arrest her."

"Damn it. He's never going to believe I didn't do this on purpose. Oh well...If I have to go to jail then I might as well give you all something worth charging me over." Cat decided as she let go of her charge and headed towards the captain with blood in her eye. "I hope you're insured because this is gonna hurt you a hell of a lot more then it's gonna hurt me."


	2. Cruel Intentions

Disclaimer: As always I own nothing but the original characters and the plot lines my twisted ideas my mind comes up with. Everything else belongs to somebody else so give them credit where credit is due! Thanks to all my faithful readers, I hope you enjoy.

Cruel Intentions

Watching the barred door close Cat made sure the officers knew she was memorizing their faces for later. Maybe she wouldn't get them back now but in the future she was going to be their living nightmare. Wandering over to a bench she sat down, mentally cursing a blue streak. There was no way Trowa was going to believe her when she told him about this. Well..maybe he would. Of course there was no way in hell she was going to be able to convince him that she hadn't gotten herself thrown into jail solely to get out of the party. Speaking of which..where the hell was her one phone call? All the other times she'd been in jail there hadn't been anyone to call. Well she'd only been in jail twice for assault but she'd always been able to get off with a warning when all had been said and done. That wasn't going to be the case this time. Once the captain regained consciousness he was going to make it clear she wasn't going anywhere. In other words she needed that one phone call to let someone know to come and get her.

"So what you in for, bitch?"

Eyes already narrowing Cat turned her head, her golden eyes deliberately predator as she sized up not just the woman who'd spoken but the other three as well. One of them was just a kid, likely in for something stupid, two were hookers and the third was anyone's guess though she didn't have a genuine bad ass vibe. One of the hookers did though, the one that had spoken so insulting, obviously trying to do some sizing up of her own.

"That's Bitch with a capital B." Cat informed her, straightening to her full height as she locked eyes with the only one in the cell worth worrying about. "And as I'm in a particularly bitchy mood you should do yourself a favor and not speak to me period. After all, you can't troll the streets in a body cast."

* * *

"You telling me to shut up?" The hooker demanded, striding over in impossibly high heels. She was big and she was no newbie. This one couldn't be more then early thirties but she looked older. She had the street smarts to be trouble which explained why the kid was cringing every time the woman spoke. Someone had already been thoroughly scared witless.

"Good to know that all that hair spray you used has completely destroyed your brain." Cat informed her cockily, her stance alert but casual. "And stuff your attitude down those surgically enhanced breasts and get out of my face. I have more blood on my hands then you've had men. You do not want to get on my bad side."

Sizing the smaller woman up the older woman backed up slightly, seeing the truth in the bitch's eyes. Those were killer eyes and she'd bet her savings the woman wasn't just shooting her mouth on. This bitch was dangerous. Shrugging it off like it was nothing she sauntered back to sit in her seat, leaning back against the wall as she turned to talk to her colleague, ignoring Cat.

Satisfied Cat's mind turned to her assignment. He could call someone for her but she had to get to him first. Luckily, as a messenger of God she was capable of separating her soul from her body, allowing said soul to take on her form to allow her to be in two places at once. Taking a seat as far away from everyone else Cat leaned back against the wall too, closing her eyes before she spoke. "I'm going to nap. Don't wake me up. Don't so much as come near me or I'll choke the life right out of you." That being said she relaxed, allowing her spirit to flow out and flying out of the room to find her stupid accountant.

The girls meanwhile all stared at the newcomer who looked like she was already out. "That's a damn cocky woman, falling asleep after talking to you like that." The other hooker said as she looked at the sleeping woman. She knew Melissa's rep and it wasn't pretty. The bitch could be damn mean.

"Like I give a crap." Melissa said with a snort, looking away. She wasn't about to admit that she wasn't even brave enough to come at that woman even while she was asleep.

* * *

Finding William sitting in a chair in an interview room wasn't terrible difficult. She was even impressed that he'd listen to her and was refusing to talk until the lawyers got there. Of course the cops trying to reason with him were still a little wet behind the ears. But for a guy with no real spine to speak of she was rather impressed. Floating over she watched his eyes go wide, losing what little color he'd had to being with.

"They can't see me." Cat said quickly before he opened his mouth. The last thing she needed was him to start talking to her while the cops were in the room. No one would believe a thing he said if they saw him talking to thin air.

"Something wrong?" One of the cops asked, putting a hand on William's shoulder. "Do you feel sick?"

"Where's the woman I came in with?" William asked, his eyes moving back and forth from Cat to the cop. "Where is she?"

"She's in holding right now but she'll be out soon enough. I don't think even the gates of hell could keep her any place she didn't want to be." The cop said with a chuckle, squeezing William's shoulder sympathetically before letting go. "She's a real ball breaker, isn't she? We joke around here that whenever we have a suspect who won't talk we should call her up. Give her five minutes and she'd have the poor son of a bitch confessing to nailing Jesus' hands to the cross if that's what she wanted him to say. You have to pity her husband."

"She's married?" William repeated, his mouth dropping open. Messengers of God could get married? Was her husband a messenger too?

"Yeah, no one can quite figure that out either. I mean yeah she's sorta hot looking in a tomboyish sort of way but as soon as she opens her mouth any sane man would run for cover." One of the officers watching the door piped up, grinning boyishly. "No one around here's seen him yet but we're figuring for some hen pecked loser who doesn't even change clothes without asking her permission. Poor bastard."

* * *

Now it was Cat's jaw that hit the ground as she stared at the officer like he'd grown two heads while the cops in the room chuckled in appreciation. Then the laughter came and she wrapped her arms around her waist, she was laughing so hard as she joined their amusement but for an entirely different reason. Oh God but that was just priceless. Wait until she told him. His face was going to be priceless. The Silencer, the big, bad assed perfect soldier...hen pecked. Her whole body shaking with amusement the laughter slowly faded as she stopped to think about what they'd said. On the one hand it was funny because Trowa was anything but hen pecked but that little prick had also insulted her too. Well he was just gonna have to pay for that too.

"The guy's probably a masochist too. She looks like the type to get her kicks beating the crap out of someone." The other man on the door added, nudging the officer beside him knowingly.

Gapping like a fish Cat didn't know who to kill first. She was used to people cracking jokes about her, at least while her back was turned but this was about Trowa. No one, but no one talked about her man like this. Eyes flaring dangerously Cat left William's side, heading for the door with the fires of hell blazing in her eyes.

"You better stop talking about her and her husband like that." William said quickly, reading the situation correctly. Picturing the walls around him bathed in blood he looked at the police officers pleadingly. "She'll kill you."

"Like we'd ever be stupid enough to talk about her like this to her face." The cop said, shaking his head ruefully. "I'd take a mass murderer hyped on drugs then tangle with that rabid cat."

"I might not be able to kill you now but I swear you will pay and wish I had killed you." Cat informed them, even though they couldn't hear her. Memorize the faces of the officers she returned to sit on the table beside William.

"Oh God." William groaned, leaning forward to bury his face in his arms. What had he done to deserve a savior like her?

* * *

Luckily for William's sanity the lawyers appeared shortly after and soon the interrogation was under way with William being grilled within an inch of his life. Whenever he faltered Cat was right there to inform him what awaited him if he didn't continue, insuring that he wanted to talk. As a small favor she even helped relieve the tension by making faces and rude gestures to the others in the room who of course couldn't see what was bringing out reluctant smiles from their witness. Soon it was done and before returning to her body Cat made one last request to William then left him in the hands of the police.

"Uhm...could I use a phone? I need to call someone before we head to my house to pick up my family." William said hesitantly, looking at the others questioningly. He was about to go into protective custody but he didn't want to think about what Cat would do to him if he didn't do this for her.

One of the cops providing him with a cell phone William quickly dialed the number Cat had had him memorize.

"Hello, Captain Barton's office. Who may I ask is calling?" Came a young female voice, the sound of typing barely audible in the background.

"I'm leaving a message concerning Lieutenant Cat Rorake? I'm supposed to tell him that she's been falsely incarcerated and needs him to come bail her out." William said quickly, wanting to get this over with as soon as possible.

"Well that's one way to get out of the party." He could hear the woman muttering in the background. When she requested where exactly Cat was William gave her all the information she needed then thanking her hung up. Handing the phone back to the police officer he followed them out of the room and into his uncertain future.

* * *

Twenty minutes later three fine examples of the male species walked into the prescient where Cat was being held. All looking to be in their mid twenties two of them were wearing the uniform of ranked Preventers while the other wore an expensive looking black suit. The two wearing uniforms were both brunettes, one with long hair down to his very nice butt while the other had unusually long bangs, parted to cover most of one side of his face. This one was a soldier through and through, no question. The one in the suit was easily recognizable as the billionaire Quatre Winner and all eyes in the department were on the trio.

"You have to give her credit." Duo was saying, ignoring all the eyes that were on them as they walked into the room. "This is a pretty original way to get out of a party."

"We don't know she did this deliberately." Quatre argued, looking at Duo disapprovingly. "She said she was innocent of whatever they're charging her with."

"This is Cat we're talking about." Duo reminded Quatre, not surprised that Quatre was, as always, living in his little dream world when it came to Cat. Quatre just couldn't accept that their friend was a Class A bitch when it came to people she didn't like and her people skills were rusty at best. You'd think four years of bailing her out of trouble would have sunk in. "Right, Trowa?" Duo added, looking over at Cat's husband for support. If anyone knew just how evil Cat could be it would be him.

Not answering Trowa's attentions were elsewhere. Apparently a cop was being thoroughly chewed out for lending his phone to someone who'd used that phone to call that bitch from hell's superior officer. It didn't take a genius to figure out who they were talking about or that the man who looked like he'd been hit by a train was likely the reason Cat was in jail. Walking over there he waited until the man paused in mid rant before speaking. "Excuse me. Are you in charge here?"

* * *

"If you've come for that hellion she isn't going anywhere. She physically assaulted three police officers and if it takes me all night I'm going to find some way to see her in jail permanently." The man informed Trowa, glaring at the younger man like this was all his fault. "You're her commanding officer?"

"She heads her division but I'm of higher rank then her, yes." Trowa agreed, his face not betraying a hint of emotion. People had justifiably called his wife of one year worse after all.

"So she's in for assaulting police officers?" Quatre repeated, frowning as he came over to stand beside Trowa. "Well, what's the bail? She has to be somewhere tonight and she really doesn't like to be locked up. The sooner we get her out of here the happier everyone will be."

"Like I was just telling this guy, she's not going anywhere." The captain grounded out, in a lot of pain and just knowing that it was just going to get worse now that he was faced with two Preventer officers and a World Senator. It looked like the little demon from hell had called in the big guns. Damn her.

"Uhm, I could be wrong but I'm pretty sure that's illegal." Duo chimed in.

"Her presence is required elsewhere. Go and get her or we'll go over your head and have your commander order you to let her go." Trowa said coldly, his icy green eyes pinning the captain down in a way that had the captain backing up a step. A cop, even one that rode a desk knew the eyes of a cold blooded killer when he saw one. "Whatever she did I'll see her punished for it."

"You'll have to call the commander then." The captain sneered, calling Trowa's bluff.

"Quatre?" Trowa said simply, knowing that no one greased wheels like his best friend. He'd insisted on looking up the number for the commander before they'd come. Past experience said that it was always good to be prepared for the worst. Especially where Cat was concerned.

"On it."

Five minutes later the captain was under orders to release Lieutenant Catherine Rorake immediately.

* * *

Walking out Cat saw who was waiting for her and winced. It was bad enough she was in for hell but she hated an audience. Walking over to join them she was well aware that all eyes were on her. "I really didn't do this on purpose." Cat began before any of them could open their mouths. "I swear. It's all Colin's fault!"

"It's always Colin's fault." Trowa said dryly, shaking his head at her. Well at least she looked none the worse for wear. Familiar with the excuse he simply watched Cat and enjoyed the sight of her squirming under it. No one attracted or cause trouble quite like she did, even more so since she'd become a messenger of God. Personally he'd always thought that God had to have been into the sacramental wine when he came up with that little idea and he was pretty sure the other guys agreed. His wife gave a whole new meaning to the idea of the wrath of God.

"They insulted you too ya know." Cat said with a huff, her face defiant. Well technically that wasn't why she'd kicked cop ass but he didn't need to know that. It was why she was going to kick cop ass later though. There were just so many police officers in the prescient on her hit list now..she was almost tempted to just blow the whole place up and save herself the trouble of hunting them down individually. Then again being blown up was just too quick a death.

"What do you mean we insulted him?" The captain demanded, glaring at her with open hatred.

"They called you a masochist."

* * *

Duo choking while Quatre looked confused Trowa simply raised an eyebrow at the captain who was sputtering too. Not that this was the first time he'd heard the idea suggested. His wife could be extremely violent after all, even if she wasn't killing people these days. He'd given up trying to explain why he'd married Cat because when you got right down to it getting to know her was like walking through a wine field. Odds were you didn't make it out alive, much less find out that she really did have a good side. Buried deep but there none the less.

"We did no such thing." A cop with a back eye and split lip argued.

"You did too. You said any husband of mine either had to be a hen pecked weakling or a masochist." Cat reminded him, watching his color disappear completely. That's right, you little prick. I know exactly what you were saying and you're going to pay, Cat's eyes informed the officer who was looking decidedly pale.

"Husband?" The captain repeated slowly, looking at Trowa in shock. "YOU'RE her husband?"

"For the record I'm neither." Trowa was his cool response. "Now if you'll excuse us." Reaching over he got a firm grip on Cat's arm and lead the way out of the room with Quatre and Duo trailing behind. "And just so you know, we're going straight to the party. You can change in the car."

"Damn it."


	3. Trowa's Lullaby

Disclaimer: As always I own nothing but the original characters and the plot lines I've come up with. Thanks to all those who've been reading my various stories and I hope you enjoy this latest chapter. Please take the time to review because I really do love to hear from you and read every one.

Trowa's Lullaby

A limo waiting for them in front of the building Cat only shook her head as she was ushered into the vehicle, moving to the back where her dress and shoes lay waiting for her on a plush leather seat. Picking up the dress she winced, wishing she could just throw it out the window and go as she was. At least then she'd be herself and comfortable. Well as comfortable as she ever got at these sorts of things. This is what happened when you were stuck letting Anna and Suki shop for you. No one trusted her to pick out clothes for special occasions and she'd been banned from doing so, not that she'd really minded. Shopping was on her list of things that prepared a person for life in hell after all. Unfortunately it still meant she was stuck wearing girlie dresses that showed too much skin and made her feel like an idiot.

"Duo, sit there." Trowa ordered once they were all in and the limo had moved into traffic. If they didn't stop they wouldn't be noticeably late and then maybe, just maybe, they'd escape a reaming from Lady Une.

"Why?" Duo wanted to know, doing as he was told while sending Quatre and Trowa questioning looks as he found himself sitting between Trowa and Quatre.

"Because you're going to stare straight ahead while Cat gets changed. If you even try to sneak a peek we're going to whack you in the head so hard you'll be seeing double for the rest of the evening." Quatre informed him, patting him on the shoulder knowingly even while there was a definite warning in his eyes. "Just think of us as another alarm system that will keep you from ending up under the tires curtesy of Cat."

"I wouldn't peek!" Duo argued, not exactly telling the truth. He'd have only taken a quick peek though, he thought, pouting slightly. As would any other red-blooded man other then Quatre.

* * *

Ignoring them Cat went about stripping, muttering under her breath about stupid parties and having to dress up in stupid dresses with stupid killer heels. Since of the three men in the car one was her husband and another like her brother she wasn't really concerned about anyone sneaking peeks at her in her underwear. They'd keep Duo from looking if the idiot tried to catch a peek. Not that there was much to see, Cat added as she looked down with a trace of humor. Shimming into the dress she adjusted the straps then sitting down fought on the damn heeled sandals. Whoever invented heels had to have been some sadist bastard with a foot fetish, she thought darkly, imaging beating to death the unknown shoe maker with one of his own creations. Fitting irony. Then again if there was any justice in this world he was probably already rotting in hell, suffering eternal damnation for torturing women for centuries. "All done." She added, wiggling toes that would be hurting pretty soon. "And couldn't you have picked heels with smaller heels, for Christ sakes."

"Suki picked them out." Trowa informed her, looking her over. She was wearing a gold colored sheath with spaghetti straps that suited her coloring and coltish build. Her hair was mussed and all over the place but it worked for her. If she didn't open her mouth she might even pass for a lady. In other words no one would ever mistaken her for one.

"Of course she did." Cat muttered, studying them with distaste. After all, Suki had been the one who'd made her buy them in the first place.

"Now do we need to go over the rules again?" Quatre began, not surprised when Cat sent a killer death glare in his direction. This was unfortunately very familiar ground for both of them. "Well at the last party you said you didn't need to hear the rules and you ended up in a fist fight." Quatre reminded her.

"It was one punch and the guy grabbed my ass. Was I supposed to just let him because he was drunk?" Cat seethed, getting all worked up at the memory. Remembering that Trowa had picked up the bastard and physically thrown him out of Relena's ballroom didn't quell her bitterness over the fact that she'd been restrained before she could get a second hit in. He'd only broken one bone in the bastard's face after all.

"The punch was justified. The four letter words and foul phrasing was not. You have to remember that you're representing Preventers when you go to these parties. What you do reflects on the sort of people that work there." Quatre reminded her patiently, the same thing that they'd been telling her for years.

"Then Lady Une should just stop making me come to the damn things."

* * *

"Trowa?" Quatre said pointedly, his eyes making it plain that he expected his best friend to say something that would get through Cat's record breaking thick head. Trowa was the only one besides him that she ever really listened to after all. if she was in the mood to listen that was. She usually wasn't.

"She knows there will be consequences if she misbehaves." Trowa said simply, looking over at his wife who glared back at him belligerently.

"Yes but if she doesn't care about those consequences then she'll keep acting up. You know Lady Une will take it out of our hides as much as hers."

"Quit worrying. I haven't even done anything yet." Cat pointed out, her annoyance plain.

"The key word being yet." Duo added in, a cheeky smirk on his face as he winked in Cat's direction. After all, riling her was one of his favorite past times, right up there with calling Wufei Wo-man and teasing Heero about Suki.

"You can be strangled with that braid, you know. It is long enough."

"Nobody is strangling anyone." Quatre interjected, sending both Cat and Duo warning looks. Enough was enough. He could only pray he never had children like either of them. One Duo and Cat was already too much in his world. They'd give him ulcers before his children had a chance to try. "Now we are all going to this party and we are all going to be on our best behaviors because if someone isn't I will personally see to it that that person finds themselves in their own personal version of hell. This is an important party and if anything goes wrong I am going to be extremely angry. You DO NOT want that to happen."

"You know, ever since Anna got pregnant your fuse has gotten a hell of a lot shorter. Why is that?" Cat wanted to know, cocking her head to the side slightly as she looked at him curiously. The closer to Anna's due date they got the more on edge Quatre seemed to get. You'd think he was the one who was going to have to go through hours of back breaking torture instead of Anna, she thought with a faint smirk.

"Just behave." Quatre said with a shake of his finger. "Or else."

"I'm almost tempted to pull something just to see what that or else is. But I'll try to restrain myself."

"Thank you so much." Was his sarcastic reply.

* * *

Arriving at the party they soon split up as Quatre went searching for Anna while Duo went off to find his fiancee Hilde who was sure to be mad at him for being so late. Trowa and Cat went off to find Lady Une and assure her they were all there before heading for the buffet table. The last thing anyone needed was for Cat to get cranky because she was hungry. After filling a plate the two found empty seats and while Cat devoured her share Trowa helped himself to some while he watched the people around them. Neither of them were the dancing or mindless chatting type after all. Usually they both preferred to stay in the background then get the hell out of there as soon as they could without offending anyone. Catching sight of Quatre with Anna Trowa nodded in acknowledgment, thinking not for the first time that Anna looked like she'd swallowed a beach ball. That's what happened when you were pregnant with twins though. She looked happy and was swaying with Quatre to the music, her husband's arms wrapped around her protectively while her head lay contently on his shoulder. Those two had surprised everyone by getting married only five months after meeting each other. Neither of them were the type to jump into things but they'd headed down the aisle as if they'd known each other for years. They fit though and were the happiest couple Trowa knew. They suited each other perfectly really. The same could not be said for Anna's sister Suki who was still chasing after Heero. Heero, for his part, didn't seem to be actively running from her anymore but he sure wasn't encouraging her either. Trowa imagined that she'd wear him down sooner rather then later and the two would be happy enough together. He wouldn't say they'd fit together perfectly but they'd compliment each other. Suki needed a keeper and Heero needed to be needed whether he realized it or not.

* * *

"Ha, look at Wufei." Cat said as she nodded with her head in the direction of their friend who'd apparently been forced onto the dance floor by his partner. Everyone knew that he and Sally were an item. Whether the two of them realized it was hotly debated.

"Good thing it's a slow song." Trowa agreed with a nod. It didn't even occur to him to ask his wife to dance because even though she probably would she'd still look at him like he had three heads for asking. They were graceful on the shooting range and on the battlefield. Not on the dance floor.

"He should quit living in denial and ask her out." Cat muttered, reaching for a carrot stick which Trowa appeared to have put on her plate while she hadn't been looking. He was always trying to improve her eating habits which even she'd admit were crummy at best. "They're both going to be in a retirement home before either of them make anything even remotely close to a move."

"I don't think it will be quite that bad." Trowa replied with a shake of his head. Not that he was one to talk. He couldn't exactly say if he'd ever made a move in his wife's direction other then asking her on that first date and then to marry him. After that first date they'd simply continued as they'd always been only they'd started to go off and do things by themselves rather then with their friends who'd taken to watching them with creepy interest. Then again he had asked her out in the first place because he thought she'd suit him. Not that he'd ever told her that. Who knew what she'd do with it.

"Fifty says that this time next year they're still like this." Cat proposed, smirking at Trowa knowingly. This would be an easy fifty if he accepted.

"Deal." Trowa agreed, shaking her hand. "Now we need to do our once around the floor, talk to a few people while Lady Une is watching then go."

"Sounds like a plan to me." Cat agreed, pushing her chair back as she got to her feet. Putting on her best I don't plan to kick your ass smile she followed her husband into the crowd, hoping that nothing happened that required her to hurt somebody.

* * *

Two hours later they were on their way home, sitting in the back seat of the limo with their shoes off. They'd both been put through their paces since Lady Une had decided to punish Cat for getting arrested by introducing them to every politician and businessman in the building. God but her feet hurt, Cat thought as she stared down at them. one politician had made her dance with him and apparently no one had ever taught him how. She was surprised she didn't have the soles of his shoes imprinted into her skin. "Do we really have to go into work tomorrow?" She asked, leaning her head back against the seat.

"Unfortunately."

"That totally bites." Cat grumbled, lifting a foot to massage it. "You'd think they could have given me the day off for good behavior."

"For you I guess this could be classified as a good day." Trowa agreed with the faintest smirk, leaning his head back against the seat as well. He was bone tired and all he wanted to do was go to bed and sleep.

"I should probably hit you for that...but I'm too tired to care." Cat said with a yawn, her eyes only partially open as she tried to ignore the fact that all she wanted to do was curl up on the seat and go to sleep. Trowa would probably carry her in if she did but that was just too girlie for her. Plus she'd recently been forced to watch Gone With the Wind with Suki. God but she hated that movie. Someone, anyone should have put a bullet in Scarlett's head and done the world a favor. Yeah, double homicide with Ashley blowing the lying bitch away then turning the gun on himself for being such a girlie, pitiful weakling who deserved to be repeatedly run over with a carriage. It was probably a good thing that the daughter had died. Better to be in heaven then have that black widow for a mother.

"You do realize that eventually we won't have any strings left to pull on your behalf." Trowa said dryly, looking over at his wife who looked to already be half asleep. No surprise there.

"True...then I'll just have to use my personal brand of persuasion to get myself out." Cat replied back, a smirk on her face.

"Which will only make things worse."

"Says you."

"Yeah, and I'm right."

"Why can't I ever win an argument with you?"

"Because I'm usually right and you know it. You're just too stubborn to admit it."

"Oh bite me."

"Where?"

* * *

The conversation continuing along those lines for the rest of the drive they finally pulled into their driveway. As a result of their growing family it had been necessary to move two years ago and now they lived on the outskirts of the city in a house that was as kooky as the family that lived in it. Apparently every owner the house had ever in the last few decades had felt the need to put their mark on the house in some way. As a result the house was three times its original size and if you had a brain in your head it was pretty apparent that certain parts of the house weren't part of the original structure. It was charming in its own way and the gargoyles and the wrap around porch were at least pretty cool as far as Cat was concerned. The last owner had added a carriage house onto the house as his contribution to the insanity and that was where Cat and Trowa lived. They had a small apartment on the second floor of it and the main floor which was supposed to hold cars instead was their private offices/livingroom area. It suited them as they were both private people. They could go over to the main house whenever they wanted to be with their family or stay at their place when they wanted to be by themselves. Anna and Heero's mother pretty much ruled the main house which was good when it came to meal times, you could usually find them other there at mealtimes. Unfortunately, Heero's mother was vacationing at the moment and Anna had been banned from the kitchen under orders from the nervous father to be.

Thanking the driver for the ride the two trudged into the house, Cat heading straight for bed while Trowa did his usual look around to make sure everything was in order with security on and everything locked up tight. Cat often wanted to point out that he didn't really need to worry given the security system Heero had rigged up but knew Trowa well enough to know he'd just double check anyway. Throwing the evil heels into the closet and hoping never to see them again Cat headed for Trowa's dresser drawers. Finding what she wanted she stripped out of her clothes then throwing said articles of clothing into the hamper put on one of her husband's shirts before crawling into bed. Out in seconds she was fast asleep by the time Trowa entered the room.

* * *

Shrugging out of his jacket Trowa changed as well, putting his clothes away neatly before changing into pajama bottoms and joining his wife in bed. Lifting up the covers he just shook his head when he saw what she was wearing. Even though she had proper nightwear she insisted on stealing his shirts and wearing them instead. His favorite shirts too. Then she hid or lost them so that he didn't see them again for months. Settling in he slid his right hand under his pillow, his fingers brushing against the butt of his gun that never left that spot unless it was in use. Most people would say that anyone who slept with a gun under his or her pillow was crazy and should seek psychiatric help immediately. In fact Quatre had told him point blank not to do it any more after he got married. But it was a comfort thing and besides, Trowa knew very well that his wife had a gun under her pillow too. They were both better safe then sorry in that regard at least. Closing his eyes he began counting under his breath, reaching seventy three before she rolled over and as was her habit sprawled out on top of him, her face snuggling against his neck while her hands rested on his shoulders, prepared to dig in if he thought about trying to roll her off. Not that he minded. He rather enjoyed how much it flustered her that no matter how hard she tried to beat this particular habit she pretty much always failed miserably. Short of tying herself to the other side of the bed she was pretty much guaranteed to end up in her present situation, much to her annoyance.

Wrapping his left arm around her waist as was his habit he rubbed his cheek against the side of her head, pleased when she nuzzled back, her steady purring as familiar to him now as the sound of her voice. Yet another habit she had yet to kick, much to her frustration. Personally he hoped she never did. Holding her close he smiled then let himself drift off to sleep as he listened to his favorite lullaby. The sound of Cat's purring.


	4. Cat's Discovery

Disclaimer: As always I own nothing but the original characters and the plot situations I put them in. In other words give credit and hate mail where its due lol. Thanks to all my readers out there and I hope you enjoy this latest chapter.

NOTE: If you have a big problem with Dan Brown's The Davinci Code, I suggest skipping this chapter.

Cat's Discovery

Waking up first as usual Trowa opened his eyes, taking in his surroundings at a quick glance. Assured everything was as it should be he rolled over onto his side, taking Cat with him as he deposited her back onto her own side of the bed. Watching her shift so that her back was to him now Trowa grinned and leaning over her placed a quick kiss on her cheek before getting out of bed. Once she heard the sound of the shower running she'd be up as well. It was their routine and they had it down to a science by now. Stretching his arms over his head he held back a yawn before turning to head for the bathroom, leaving his wife to dream about whatever it was she dreamed about. Often times he figured he was better off not knowing.

Hearing the shower Cat's eyes soon slowly opened, scanning her side of the room before looking towards the door that led into the bathroom. Sighing she looked over at the clock before throwing off the covers with a long, drawn out yawn. Dammit. Time to get up for work. Stretching as she went she crossed the room before heading to the closet to locate what she was going to wear. Rifling through she finally found a clean uniform and hauling it out threw it onto the bed before taking her husband's uniform out too. His uniform, unlike hers, was of course perfectly pressed and looked like it had just come off the clothes rack, she thought with a look of disgust. Throwing that on the bed too she sat on the bed, waiting for him to finish. It was his turn to make breakfast after all. Moments hater he came out, a towel secure around his waist while he used another to dry his hair. Not surprised to find his uniform on the bed, looking like it had been thrown there, Trowa sent his wife a look before heading over to his dresser drawers while she headed for the shower with a smirk. After she was out they both had breakfast before heading off to work, Cat hoping for an easy day and Trowa hoping his wife had an easy, uneventful day. Fat chance.

* * *

Walking into Preventers Trowa winced when he saw who was coming right for them. Of all the rotten luck, he thought, practically feeling the hairs on his wife's neck stick up in reaction to the sight of his wife's most hated enemy after Saint Peter and the Teletubbies. Dorothy. After yesterday's events he wasn't sure he could restrain himself from knocking their heads together if the two went at it. It was just too damn early in the morning for a cat fight.

Watching the blonde with acute hatred Cat's eyes narrowed dangerously even as a rather feral smile crossed her lips. Her current favorite way to envision Dorothy's death was to create a shrink ray and then dump the mini Dorothy into a pot of boiling hot coffee. Not only would she burn and drown in the stuff but then she could give the coffee to the evil captain from that damn prescient who would become a cannibal. Really, it was the perfect plan. Death by coffee, how creative was that? Now all she had to do was figure out how to build a shrink ray. Or better yet, make someone else make it for her.

"Be nice." Trowa warned in a low voice as they continued to walk forward, meeting Dorothy half way. He was well aware that everyone in the room was watching, trying to get closer to hear what would be said. His wife's fights with Dorothy were legendary by now. With good reason. For those who didn't have to deal with the women this was very entertaining. "Hello, Dorothy." Trowa said calmly, opting not to get a good grip on his wife's arm since that would only antagonize her further. He was close enough if need be. Hopefully.

* * *

"Trowa, how are you?" Dorothy asked sweetly, batting her eyes at him just to piss off Cat who she was deliberately ignoring. There was only one person Dorothy hated more than Cat Rorake and that was Quatre's former cat from hell. And thank God they'd given her away.

"Fine, you?"

"Oh, I'm just peachy. So, Cat..I understand you got arrested again last night. It must have been so terrible for you." Dorothy cooed as she finally turned her head to look Cat in the eye.

"Not at all. The company in that jail cell was a real step up from my current one, Trowa excluded of course." Cat shot back just as sweetly, though when she did it you felt like you'd been slapped rather than cooed over. "I see you got those roots of yours tidied up nicely. Now if you'd just learn how to pronounce the word tweezers you could.." The rest muffled as Trowa's hand came in front of her mouth.

"Have a nice day." Trowa said as he nodded at a steamed Dorothy before dragging his wife out of there before she got herself thrown in jail for the second time in twenty four hours. Especially since odds no one would be in the mood to bail her out this time. Safely depositing her at her office he could only hope Dorothy didn't follow to continue the conversation with Cat. It wouldn't be the first time and like all the other times was sure to end badly.

* * *

It was two hours before the end of shift and Trowa was taking a small break with the guys in the lounge near their offices when Cat came running towards them with a smile that automatically had them all fearing the worst. She looked too damn happy. She only got that happy over things no one in their right mind got happy over. Like Jaws eating someone.

"TROWA!" Cat yelled as she charged at him, her husband only having time to brace before she threw herself into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist to stay there as she gave him a quick, hard kiss on the mouth before pulling back with a huge grin on her face. "Guess what?"

"Oh dear God. She's finally succeeded in killing Dorothy." Duo said with a look of mock horror on his face, trying to hide his amusement at the surprised look on Trowa's face. It took a lot to pull something like that off.

"What did you do?" Trowa asked, a little uneasy by how happy she looked. What could possibly have happened? Had Dorothy really died?

"I finally figured out why Saint Petie hates me!" Cat announced with a smug look on her face. "I always knew there was a reason he's made it his mission in life to screw me over."

* * *

"Uhm yeah, that would be the way you treat him and constantly threaten him with bodily harm. The sort of bodily harm that isn't even humanly possible." Wufei informed her dryly, shaking his head at her foolishness. It had only taken them a minute after hearing her rant about the saint to clue in to why Saint Peter wasn't very fond of Cat. Not to mention most people weren't.

"No, that's not it." Cat informed him, shaking her head as she wrapped her arms around Trowa's neck since Trowa didn't exactly have a lot of hip to hold onto. Not that she was complaining.

"Actually, I'm pretty sure that's it." Trowa said with the faintest look of amusement on his face. She just looked so damn cute. Like a hyper five year old. A very rare thing indeed.

"No, it isn't. I found proof!" Cat said with a frown, not appreciating the fact that everyone seemed to think Petie's attitude was all her fault. Why did everyone assume that it was her fault if she didn't get along with someone? There were other people in the world with worse people skills then her. She couldn't quite recall meeting one worse than her but Wufei was still pretty damn close.

* * *

"What sort of proof?" Quatre wanted to know, always ready to give her the benefit of the doubt.

"It's in a book called the Davinci Code!" Cat explained, letting Trowa go so that she slide down his front before turning to face Quatre to explain. "I caught one of my cadets reading it and I was going to make him eat it but he told me that if I could read it and not get hooked right away he would, without a struggle. So I started reading and it explains everything!"

"It explains why Saint Peter hates you with a rare and consuming passion?" Was Duo's response as he raised a skeptical eyebrow.

"No, that's just it, Duo. It's not just me! He hates all women. Saint Peter was and is a bigger sexist than Wufei!" Cat announced with a cat that got the cream grin on her face as she crossed her arms in front of her. "He never got over Mary one upping him in Jesus's books and so he's been taking it out on women ever since."

* * *

"What's Jesus's mother got to do anything?" Duo wanted to know, a confused look on his face. As sad as it was he was probably the most bible literate of the group thanks to his time at the Maxwell Church and Sister Helen.

"Not her, the other Mary."

"Mary Magdelena? The prostitute?" Duo asked, frowning now. "What do you mean one upped Peter, not that Jesus was known to play favorites."

"That's just it, she wasn't a prostitute at all! She was really Jesus's wife but because the church wanted him to appear as this god like being they couldn't have him being married and having sex and stuff. In the book it explains how Mary was supposed to continue Jesus's work and the church he'd been creating but that Peter overthrew her and made her flee the country!"

"Uhm...Cat...are you sure about the authenticity of that book?" Wufei said slowly and wearily, watching her carefully. "That sounds a great deal like fiction. After all, if it were true wouldn't at least one of us heard about it? Especially Duo."

"Yeah, especially me." Duo chimed in.

"You were raised by Catholics, of course they weren't about to admit that the bible is full of lies and deceit. Not that I couldn't have told you that before I read the book. It is written completely by men after all." Cat said as she flopped into a seat beside Wufei, Trowa taking the seat beside her.

* * *

"Well you do have a point there. The bible is a great piece of fiction in a lot of ways. Just like odds are your book is too." Was Wufei's opinion on the matter, not surprised when she frowned at him. "There are parts of your book that are undoubtedly correct but it's just as likely there are parts that were fabricated. At least your book's title doesn't sound like a text book and I doubt any cadet would consider a textbook on the Christian faith as fascinating reading. Before you explode I should point out that the bible can be viewed the same way. It is a recount of events from the perspective of ordinary men who were only human. It's full of their biases and opinions, not to mention the ways in which their works have changed depending on who's transcribing them."

"But it makes so much sense. He didn't like me BEFORE I opened my mouth."

"True but that might be because he was well aware of everything you'd done before you got to heaven's gates." Trowa pointed out, deciding to intervene before Cat picked a fight with Wufei. That would not be a fight to get in the way of.

"You know, you're all supposed to be on my side." Cat grumbled, poking her finger into her husband's chest as she sent him one of her perfected death glares. "Especially you. You're always supposed to be on my side. We're married."

"When you're right I am on your side." Was his reasonable reply.

* * *

Making a sound of frustration Cat turned her eyes on the one person she could always count on to be on her side. The gullible pretty boy. "You think I'm right, don't you, Quatre?"

"Well I don't know very much on the topic." Quatre began, hedging rather than coming right out and saying she was wrong like the others. "And besides, none of us were around back then so who's to say if either recounting of those events is correct. I can say that I find the idea of Jesus being a regular human being a lot easier to believe than as the product of immaculate conception but he could have been. When it comes down to it, no one here is likely to ever know the real story."

"Nice evasive tactics." Duo said with a faint smirk in Quatre direction before turning his attention back to Cat. "And you know, Cat, even if this book is right it doesn't change anything. He still hates you either way."

Since this was unfortunately true Cat lapsed into a sulky silence, Duo and Wufei watching her wearily while Heero and Trowa ignored her little snit, knowing she'd go back to her usual self that much quicker if she wasn't given the sympathy she wanted. Quatre of course was busy trying to think of something to say to make everything all right again. Or as right as anything ever was.

* * *

Opening her mouth to say something Cat suddenly went completely still, her eyes darkening noticeably as she got to her feet. Her body taunt and still she slowly turned to face the open doorway, the others getting to their feet in reaction, picking up on her mood. There was something very wrong. Very wrong.

"What is it?" Trowa asked simply, laying a protective hand on his wife's shoulder.

"Evil." Cat said simply, turning her head to look him in the eye. "Powerful evil."

Blinking, especially since Cat was obviously not exaggerating Trowa returned her steady gaze. Whatever it was, it was scaring the hell out of Cat. She didn't say it, but he could see it in her eyes. "Where?"

"He's coming." Cat replied, stepping out of his hold as she headed towards the door, the guys at her heels as she headed down the hallway, twisting and turning as she went through the maze of corridors without pause. Finally she came to a stop, her eyes glued to a small group that was making their way towards them at a casual walk. The group was made up of a few high ranking generals, a couple men in business suits, Milliardo, Noin and Lady Une. They didn't interest her in the least though. All her attention was focused on the man walking at Lady Une's side, his dark head bent as if to catch whatever Lady Une was saying. He was as tall as Trowa but was more solidly built, moving with the familiar feline grace of a predator. He was dressed in an expensive suit and looked part of the group but he wasn't. He was nothing like anyone in this building. She'd been around with these abilities long enough to have come across and sensed the creatures that roamed this earth, their goals the exact opposite of her own. They were creatures of the darkness, who's goal was to possess rather than save. But she'd never sensed someone this powerful before. All the hairs on the back of her neck were standing on end and she could feel her very being recoil. He would know what she was, Cat thought, even as he turned his head and looked her straight in the eye, a slow smile crossing his full lips.

* * *

Out of instinct the men crowded around Cat, forming a protective half circle around her with Trowa on one side and Heero on the other. They waited for the other group to come to them, all ready to spring to defend and protect.

"Ah, there you all are. I was just showing these gentleman around and Mr. Devlin was asking about our security. I told him only you could explain your complicated system, Heero." Lady Une said with a pleasant smile, even as her eyes narrowed slightly at the vibes she was getting from the six individuals in front of her. Not exactly threatening but a lot more guarded than one would expect given the situations. They weren't the most trusting of people but they usually weren't this bad. Even Quatre was looking rather grim.

"Is he now?" Heero replied, knowing instinctively that it was the man who had eyes only for Cat that Lady Une was referring to.

"I understand that when it comes to these sort of things no one does better. I know the rest of you from various functions but I don't believe we've met, Miss?" The man calling himself Devlin said with a charming, almost sexual smile as he stepped forward, holding out his hand to Cat who took it, her eyes never leaving his.

"It's Mrs, actually. And it's Lieutenant Rorake." Cat said, biting back the need to gag as the silent battle of wiles played out, especially when he lifted his hand to place a kiss on the back of it, causing a searing heat where his lips brushed. Cat, holding back the reaction he was looking for through sheer will returned his smile. As much as this hurt she knew it was hurting him just as much, she could feel it.

* * *

"A lucky man then." Was his response, his eyes sliding over smoothly to meet Trowa's, the smile taking on an almost challenging edge as he let go of Cat's hand.

"Well we should continue on with the tour I think. Heero, if you could be in front of my office in about an hour to talk to Mr. Devlin?" Lady Une said quickly, reading the situation to mean she had to get this tour moving before either Cat or Trowa got violent. The fact that Cat hadn't shed blood yet was a miracle she wasn't going to ignore.

"Of course." Was Heero's cold reply.

Everyone nodding they all moved out of the way and turned to watch the group leave. Once they were out of sight Trowa's eyes narrowed before he grabbed Cat's hand and lifted it up, the others crowding around to see what had caught his attention. There, like a burn or a brand was a clear imprint, in painful red, of the man's lips where they'd brushed against her skin.


	5. In The Dog House

Disclaimer: As always I own nothing but my original characters and the situations I've put them in. Everything else belongs to somebody else so remember to give credit where it is due. Thanks to all those who read my stuff and I hope you enjoy and review!

(Struggles to recover from Skye's shaking and her evil, rabid dust bunny minions)

In The Dog House

"Well hell." Duo said after the long, drawn out moment of silence. "I guess we know who won that pissing contest."

"Oh he didn't get off lightly either." Cat said darkly, trying to ignore the way her skin ached. It was like any burn and she could only hope that he was feeling it too. Damn, but he'd been powerful. Not good, definitely not good.

"What do you think he wanted? Did he come because of you?" Quatre wanted to know, taking her good hand in his. "And should Sally look at it?"

"I don't think there's much she could do. I don't think this sort of thing will respond to anything she's got." Flexing her hand she winced at the burning sensation but found it bearable now that Devlin wasn't holding it. "And I doubt he's here because of me. I'm incredibly low on the holy scale. I very much doubt I even registered on his radar until he got near enough to sense me. He won't try to kill me, if that's what you're thinking."

"Really, because it looked to me like you'd caught his interest." Heero commented dryly.

"As someone that can be turned, not killed." Cat corrected, trying to ignore the way Trowa was staring at her so intently. She had a bad feeling he knew what she was going to say. In that case she might as well come totally clean since he'd tell them anyway. "Because messengers of God are made up of past sinners we're ideal candidates to be turned. If he does come back to visit me it will because he wants to see if I'm turnable."

"So in other words he might try to lead you to the dark side of the force?"

* * *

Rolling her eyes at Duo's terminology Cat couldn't say she was surprised. Duo did tend to use humor whenever the situation least called for it to try and make light of how bad things actually were. Nodding her head Cat turned to look at Trowa. "And you really don't have to worry about him going after you, any of you. Demons can only manipulate people who are weak and easily seduced by power. He can't attack you directly, at worst he could send regular human beings after you."

"But he can attack you." Quatre wasn't buying her brushing this off like it was nothing routine. Someone capable of burning your flesh just by holding it was not someone to shrug off as nothing to worry about.

"Well obviously." Holding up her burned hand for emphasis Cat still shrugged it off like it was nothing. "But like I said, he won't be interested in killing me because he really has nothing to gain from it. Once he realizes he can't turn me he'll back off and leave me alone."

"But wouldn't he want you dead so that you can't do your job as a messenger?" Wufei pointed out.

"I've only ever occasionally gone head to head with a demon over a soul and never one as powerful as this guy. I'd lay odds that he's one of those demons who gets a hold of your soul and doesn't let go until you're dead. He's into playing with them and he'd only play with the big leagues which means none of the people that interest him would be my potential customers. Mine at least have some chance of redemption even if they are all whiny pains in my ass." Cat muttered, still sore that she'd yet to get a person she even remotely wanted to save. Why did she always get stuck with the smart asses and jerks?

"Still, he doesn't strike me as the take no for an answer type." Heero commented, his tone indicating he wasn't buying her defense in the slightest.

"You guys just have to trust me on this." Cat replied, giving them all a stern look. "I can handle him and none of you need to get involved."

* * *

Of course none of them believed that and after talking it over amongst themselves decided to send Trowa in to set her straight a couple hours later once Heero got back from his tour. There was no way in hell they were just going to sit back and twiddle their thumbs while she took on some spawn of Satan after all. The four waiting outside her office while Trowa went in they couldn't hear well through the thick oak door but it wasn't long before they could hear Cat yelling though what she was yelling was an unfortunate mystery. That went on for a good ten minutes and then there was the sound of various things being destroyed. Then the shock came as a decidedly male voice raised in anger which could only mean one thing. Cat had pushed him to the point where Trowa had lost control enough to actually yell back at her. Scary. It had reached the point where the guys were considering going in when Trowa came calmly strolling out, even as he ducked his head to avoid the book that came whizzing by. Closing the door behind him there was a loud thud as something did severe damage to her side of the door. The cursing that followed suggested it had been some part of her anatomy hitting that solid piece of wood. Ouch.

"Uhm...she didn't take that well?" Duo asked hesitantly, the pilots and all of Cat's staff completely silent as they waited to find out what the hell had just happened.

"Putting it mildly." Inwardly fuming Trowa stuck his hands into his pockets before walking out of the room with his friends following at his heels. God but she pissed him off sometimes. It wasn't about her pride, it was about keeping her safe, dammit. She was always doing this! Going off on her own, never asking for help even when it was bloody obvious she needed it. Badly. She was his wife dammit, he was supposed to protect her or at the very least fight at her side. But no, she wouldn't hear of it. Yelling at him, throwing books and that damn paperweight at his head. Was it any wonder that he'd yelled at her? Now all that had been accomplished was more gossip for his fellow employees. Like Cat didn't provide them with enough of that anyway.

"I take it she said no to having one of us guard her at all times." Heero had been pretty sure that was about as likely as him marrying Wufei but Quatre had insisted they should at least suggest it to her.

"Oh yeah."

"Well maybe, once she's had time to calm down she'll change her mind?" Quatre suggested hopefully.

"I don't think so."

* * *

It was a very strained car ride home that evening as Trowa and Cat headed home from work. Both had eaten in their offices so once they got to their apartment Cat went into the living room to watch television while Trowa headed for the bedroom, probably to change, Cat guessed, still furious with him. How dare he suggest that she couldn't handle this. He didn't know anything about dealing with demons and he would have never even known what Devlin was if she hadn't told him. Some bodyguard any of the boys would be. Flipping through the channels she cursed when she found nothing to interest her. Getting up from the couch she was about to head to their room to change too when he appeared, throwing several things at her at once. Catching out of reflect she found herself holding a blanket with a pillow and what looked like pajamas at her feet. "What the hell?" Blinking at him Cat didn't know what was going on but she had a feeling she wasn't going to like it. At all.

"You're sleeping on the couch."

Jaw hitting the ground Cat gapped at him, completely speechless. "Wha..what the hell? You're making me sleep on the friggin couch? You're the guy, if someone has to sleep on the couch it should be you!"

"I won't fit, you will. Once you're done acting like a cranky five year old who isn't being given her way we'll talk." Giving her his back he headed back down the hallway, locking their bedroom door behind him. She just never learned and it was about time he got down to the business of teaching her. Besides, he was so angry at her right now it wasn't a good idea to spend any more time in her company until he was absolutely sure he wouldn't strangle the little idiot.

Slumping back onto the couch Cat didn't know what to think. She'd been banished to the couch for the night. Staring at the floor she didn't know if she wanted to murder him in his sleep or pout him into letting her back into their bed. One thing was for sure though. She did NOT like this. Ignoring the pajamas she simply removed the top half of her uniform so that she was only wearing her white undershirt. She didn't want to wear those stupid pajamas. Of course that was because he'd thrown them at her, even though he knew she never wore them unless he made her. The big jerk. A decidedly mean gleam coming into her eyes she just went into the laundry room and getting one of his shirts from there changed into that, leaving her uniform there since it needed to be washed anyway because she'd spilled coffee on it when she'd thrown her mug at Trowa head earlier. Going back to the couch she curled up in the quilt, suddenly feeling incredibly miserable. Trowa was really, really mad at her. He'd actually YELLED at her. He never yelled at her. She didn't like it when he yelled. He wasn't supposed to yell, he was Trowa! Tugging the covers closer Cat laid her head against the arm of the couch, thinking to herself that perhaps for the first time since she'd met the guys she was actually going to go a night without sleep.

* * *

If the Preventers employees had been shocked at the fact that Trowa had actually yelled at Cat they were even more shocked at the sight of a Cat who hadn't been sleeping properly. The lieutenant who could fall asleep at the drop of a hat had become an insomniac. Of course no one knew that she'd been stuck trying to sleep on the couch for the last three days, Cat thought bitterly, slumped in her seat. She'd tried fighting Trowa for the bedroom but he was stronger and more determined than she was. That and he was obviously getting a lot more sleep and food then she was. Lately her appetite had been next to zero. The guys were fussing over the both of them but Cat had no intention of apologizing for being right. He was the one who had to apologize for being so mean to her. Okay, so maybe throwing all those things at his head hadn't been the right thing to do. But what he'd done was worse. She'd just made him angry, he'd made her unhappy. That had to be breaking some sort of marriage law.

"Uhm...Sir?"

Looking over with narrowed eyes Cat wasn't surprised to see her cadet flinch. All the people that had had to come deal with her lately had been flinching. It was sort of funny because she'd been too rung out and tired to be her usual bad ass self the last few days. Apparently they were more afraid of her now then when she was making their lives hell. Or they could be expecting some sort of huge explosion, she could see that happening if Trowa didn't apologize soon. "What is it?" Cat asked, rubbing her tired eyes as she waited for his reply. The sooner he told her the sooner he'd leave. She really didn't want company right now. She didn't feel like being dragged away for killing some poor random bastard.

"This letter was delivered for you." Practically throwing it onto her desk he made a hasty retreat while Cat's eyes went to the letter, seeing her name on the front in handwriting she didn't recognize. Opening it quickly she found a single piece of paper that got straight to the point. "Dear, Cat, I've missed you. Meet me at the Aglukark Bridge and we can discuss our future history together. Five o'clock, come alone, darling. Devlin." Reading it one more time to make sure her sleep deprived brain was getting all this Cat's eyes narrowed until they were mere slits. Five o'clock huh? Oh it was definitely on. She'd show them all that she could take care of this without them. That would show them, show Trowa. Crumpling the letter in her fist she threw it into her overflowing trash can. "It's on now, Devlin and you're going so far down you're going to bypass hell half way there!"

* * *

Coming ten minutes early for their little appointment Cat was eager for their fight and looking around kept a sharp eye out for her soon to be hurting opponent. Taking in the terrain for future reference some disturbing facts began to filter through her mind. This was a bad area of town, the bridge being on the outskirts of the ghetto area of the city she lived in. She could see run down buildings in the distance, the bridge in front of her decorated with graffiti of the crude, violent type. She could literally feel the misery, violence and darkness that one could always find in these sorts of areas. Which was exactly why Devlin had picked it. Mentally kicking herself Cat cursed under her breath. God's assistants got their power boosts and strength from the joy, love and other positive emotions humans gave off. By the same token devils fed off the anger, hate and negative emotions that permeated this area. In other words he had a hell of a lot to draw on for a boost if he wanted it. And he'd definitely want when he realized she wasn't going to play nice with him. Then there was the fact that she was not in the best mental state for this since she was feeling plenty negative as well. Slowly backing up a couple steps she was already thinking of taking the coward's way out and leaving when she heard a low chuckle that sent shivers down her spine. Turning she wasn't surprised to see Devlin coming down the slight embankment to meet her. Dammit. Too late.

"Thinking of going somewhere?" He asked, grinning at her slightly, obviously aware of the fact that she'd clued in finally as to why he'd picked this time and this spot.

"Devlin." Simply nodding her head Cat figured she really didn't need to answer when he already knew it. "So this is where we're going to be duking it out huh? I can see why you picked it. Such lovely scenery."

"I enjoy it." Devlin agreed, his grin widening. It had been a while since he'd had a challenge and so far she appeared to have guts, sticking even though she was obviously intelligent enough to have figured out that she'd walked right into his trap. Most would have started praying or pleading by now. But no, not this messenger. She wasn't at all suited for her present role and it was going to be his pleasure to educate her to that fact. "A perfect reflection of humanity. Wouldn't you agree?" He asked, smiling charmingly as though they were friends simply out for an evening stroll. "I've always thought it interesting the way they continue to survive when every breath they take on this earth is a gift they don't deserve. Why, now adays they don't even need demons like me to corrupt them. They manage that all on their own."

* * *

"Are we going to fight or are you going to monologue all night? You know that is the biggest mistake guys like you make right? You might win more often if you weren't so busy informing everyone within hearing distance that you're all that and a bag of potato chips."

Laughing, delighted with her Devlin clapped his hands together. "What's a woman like you doing working for those weak willed idiots in the great upstairs? Don't they annoy the hell out of you with their preaching and pacifism? You and I understand how stupid and useless both those things are, Cat. They're just using you to spread a message of lies and you're bright enough to know it. You understand the way things really are."

"Oh please. If you're going to spout that kind of bullshit at me you could at least offer me an apple like the snake you are. At least then I'd get something out of having to listen to you babble." Rolling her eyes Cat was beginning to think, hope, that this guy was going to be all talk, at least for tonight. Obviously he saw her as a toy and as long as she stayed that way in his mind odds were he wouldn't attack her. At least not yet anyway.

"You do so amuse me." She never saw it coming. One minute he was grinning at her like an idiot and the next he'd raised his hand and aiming at her sent out a huge black blast of negative energy that had her flying back, rolling the rest of the way down the embankment so that she was just able to catch herself before she went splashing into the water below.

Shakily getting to her feet Cat called on everything she was, knowing full well that it wasn't going to be enough. Her wings spreading, her whole body glowing with positive energy, it was nothing compared to the darkness that surrounded him now. "Cheater." Cat called out, spitting out blood as she weaved slightly, staying upright through sheer stubbornness. This might be a losing battle but she wasn't going down this quickly. No way in hell.

"A soldier should always be ready, Cat." Devlin reminded her silkily, his own black wings appearing before her eyes, the very air she was breathing becoming thick with the stench of evil that had her gagging on it in protest. "But don't worry, Cat, my dear. I like you too much to kill you right now. I'm just going to..play with you a little bit instead."


	6. You're My Idiot

Disclaimer: As always I own nothing but the original characters and the situations I put all the characters in. Everything else belongs to somebody else so just remember to give the credit where it's due. Thanks for reading and please review because I'd love to hear from you. Thanks!

Sry bout weird paragraph spacing!

You're My Idiot

As Devlin had promised, he hadn't killed her. He'd come damn close but had pulled back once he realized she wasn't getting back up again. As it was, it had taken all she'd had to get up the last two times. That first blast from him had pretty much fried her circuits and everything she'd thrown at him had basically been out of desperation and her damn pride. But he countered every blow and had finally sent her crashing into the bridge for the last time. Unable to get up, so sapped of life that raising her head seemed impossible, she was still conscious enough to be aware of him walking over to stand beside her. "Cat, Cat, Cat. I have to give you credit for sheer grit, my dear. Most would have stayed down after that fifth blast. Impressive."

Since she couldn't even come up with the strength to be sarcastic, much less speak Cat simply glared at him, feeling like a limp noodle that had been over cooked. It was like she had no muscle or strength, as if every ounce of energy had been sucked out of her every time he'd landed a punch. She felt weak, pathetic and vulnerable. She almost wished he'd just finish her off and get it over with. The fact that things were still unsettled with Trowa kept her fighting for consciousness. He had heaped enough blame on his shoulders for things that he'd done or said in the past. If she croaked now she'd be just another weight on his shoulders, dragging him down. She couldn't let that happen, not as long as she could keep breathing and aware. Even if he had made her sleep on the couch.

"Such spirit." Sounding positively delighted with her Cat wished a Gundam would come out of nowhere to stomp the bastard into the ground. "Well, my dear kitty cat, it's time for me to go. I'll see you in a couple of weeks if you can pull yourself together. I think you will." And then he was gone, simply vanishing like he'd never been there.

Simply laying there Cat didn't know how long it was before she could roll onto her back, just that it was getting darker and darker around her now that she could see the sky. It took her two more hours after that to work up enough strength to get out her cell phone from her pocket. Needing to rest for a good half an hour after that feat she finally had enough strength conserved to make that one precious call for help. Trowa was mad at her so he was out for the role of knight in shining armor. She couldn't risk him not answering when he saw who was calling. So she called the next best man for the job. "Heero... Aglukark... Bridge...hurry." That being done she closed her eyes and passed out. Her last thought was that he damn well better hurry or she was seriously going to haunt his ass.

I

Breaking every speed limit to get from Preventers to Aglukark Bridge Heero kept replaying what she'd said in his head. It wasn't that she'd said much, only four words, but that wasn't what worried him. It had been how she'd said it and how much space there'd been between each of the words. Pushing his vehicle to the max Heero arrived at the bridge in record time, practically jumping out of the car before it had time to come to a complete stop. Calling out her name with no answer his eyes scanned the dark embankment that led to what some people might laughingly call a river. A hint of light catching his attention he carefully made his way down the side, watching the light go brighter and brighter. Seeing what was providing the light moments later Heero ran the rest of the way, sending gravel and garbage flying as he rushed over to the spot where Colin was kneeling before the crumpled figure of Cat. The angel had his hands on Cat's chest and whatever he was doing was causing them both to glow where their skin touched the other. "CAT!" Dropping to his knees beside her he could see no major physical wounds on her though she was dirty, bruising and knicked. "How bad is she hurt?" He demanded to know as he checked her pulse, his fingers finding her wrist limp and so very cold.

"Pretty damn bad." Too shaken to think about his language Colin looked over at Heero's grimly. All she'd had to do was call his name, even just think it and he would have come, Colin thought desperately, looking back at her still form. But no, either the attack had been too quick or her pride too big to call out to him for help. He was leaning towards the latter, the little fool. He could only hope she lived to learn from the lesson. "Devlin did a pretty good job of sucking the life out of her, as it is she was barely holding on when I got here."

"What can I do?"

"What I'm doing, giving her your live force." Reaching out with his free hand Colin grabbed Heero's hand and placed it on Cat's exposed stomach. "Keep your hand there and think about all the good times you had with her. Messengers and angels feed off the positive emotions of the people around us. Think and think hard!"

I

Nodding his head Heero closed his eyes and tried to think of memories involving Cat that were positive and found that it was pretty hard to find any that didn't involve violence or situations not exactly heavenly friendly. That being the case he focused on memories that involved Trowa and Quatre in them since she was normally on her best behavior then. Slowly memories of birthday parties, Christmas Days and weddings came to mind, small pieces of his life with her in which he'd been glad to have her with them, even when she was being a royal pain in the ass. His eyes closed he slowly became aware of a strange warmth in his arm, his eyes opening to see a glow to match Colin's emitting from their physical contact.

They did this for a good twenty minutes before Colin declared that she was in good enough shape to be moved. "This place isn't good for her to begin with. She was an idiot not to see that the deck was already set against her as soon as she arrived." Colin explained as Heero gathered Cat into his arms. "Take her home, where she'll be surrounded by the people who love her, in an atmosphere that's absorbed those connections and positive emotions. All you boys should try to give her some of your positive emotions, especially Trowa since they have the strongest connection. I'm going to go find out everything about this Devlin character since no one saw fit to clue me in about him."

"Sorry about that." Getting up the river bank took some fancy foot work but they finally got up there with Colin lowering the passenger seat so that Heero could lay her down there. Buckling her in Colin promised Heero he'd drop in soon and then disappeared. Closing her door Heero hurried around the vehicle and getting in quickly started it and peeled out and back onto the road. He'd call the others once he got Cat to the house and out of this neighborhood. Colin was right, she could be such an idiot some times.

Thankfully he only got pulled over once for speeding and once the police officer got a good look at Cat he completely agreed with Heero that she was very ill and needed to get to a hospital quick. He even offered to provide Heero with a police escort but Heero assured him that they were almost there and that he would get there just as quickly without one. So Heero got off without a ticket and arrived home in record time. Retrieving her house keys from her pocket Heero let them into her house since Trowa wasn't there for some reason. Carrying her up the stairs and on to the second level he went straight to the bedroom, laying her down on the bed. Checking her pulse it was stronger though not what it should be. Frowning Heero used the bedside phone to call the main house and got ahold of Anna who said that the guys had decided to go out to dinner to discuss Cat and they weren't back yet. Apparently he'd left before they could get ahold of him to get him to come along. Asking her to call them and tell them to get to Trowa's house as soon as possible Heero explained what had happened to Cat. Promising to be over as soon as she contacted the guys Anna hung up and Heero turned his attention back to Cat. Her clothes were filthy and not exactly comfortable to be sleeping in. Walking over to the dresser he located pajamas and quickly stripped Cat and put her into the clean clothes, leaving her only to get the First Aid kit from the bathroom.

I

Anna and Suki rushing in seconds later they came in to find Heero doing some sort of weird glowy thing to Cat's stomach while his other hand held a damp wash cloth he was using to wipe dirt off her face. "Wow." Rushing over Suki bent over to get a better look at the way Heero's hand was glowing from touching Cat's exposed stomach. "How are you doing that?"

"Here, you put your hands on her stomach too." Heero ordered while Anna looked over his shoulder so that she could see too. "Anna, you better not, just in case because of the baby. Suki, what you need to do is concentrate on all the positive memories you have of her and how much you love her. Apparently that's all we can do for her according to Colin."

"And he'd be the one to know." Placing her hands on either side of Heero's Suki scrunched up her face in concentration and did as he ordered, her hands beginning to glow quickly to her delight.

"The guys are on their way." Anna commented as she took the wash cloth from him so that he could concentrate completely on the glow healing. It was amazing but she could actually see the color slowly returning to Cat's face and the younger woman's breathing was beginning to deepen and even out before her eyes. "Where is Colin? Shouldn't he be here?"

"He said he'd be back shortly. He went to go find out exactly what happened and what this Devlin guy is up to."

"So she tried to take the demon hottie out by herself huh? Figures." Suki commented as she spread her fingers wider in case that helped. "How does the other guy look? Was there like, this big huge pile of black ooze or something left?"

"From the looks of it she barely scratched him."

"Bummer. That's really going to piss her off."

I

The men's arrival was signaled by the loud sound of multiple footsteps stomping the hell out of the stairs and then the hallway. The four men streaming in they came to a halt at the sight before them. There was Cat, dressed in pajamas with the shirt pulled up to accommodate Suki and Heero who had their hands splayed over Cat's bare stomach. Said hands and stomach were also glowing while Anna appeared to bandaging up a cut on Cat's neck.

Rushing over to his wife's side Trowa grabbed her pale hand, checking for a pulse automatically even as he turned to look at Heero. "How bad is she?"

"You just missed Colin and he said she was doing pretty well. You guys need to come over here and do this too though because I'm starting to get light headed and the more the better." Heero explained as he stood up, removing his hands for the moment as he stretched. "You need to make physical, skin to skin contact and think positive and loving thoughts about her. My advice is to think of special holidays, she's usually on her best behavior then."

The guys coming forward Quatre took her other hand while Duo replaced Heero's hand on her stomach. Wufei decided to go with an ankle since this way he was the least likely to get yelled at when Cat found out they'd had their hands on her.

"I'll go throw her clothes into the laundry, the pants at least might be savable." Anna commented, picking up the clothes Heero had discarded on the floor.

"I wouldn't bother, I don't think anything she was wearing is going to be wearable ever again." Rolling his shoulders Heero shook his head at her as he added, "The pants have a large rip in the back." Getting off those had been a bitch.

"So how'd you find her? Did he attack her here?" Wufei wanted to know.

"No, she was just able to get me on my cell before she went lights out."

I

The guys and girls sharing looks they all looked at Trowa who appeared to find his wife's face extremely interesting. Uh oh, they were all thinking, well except for Heero who just didn't have the relationship experience to know that he'd unknowingly put himself in very hot water. Plus, Heero had known about the rip in the pants which meant logically that he'd been the one to remove them since Anna would have known if she was the one. Double uh oh.

Aware that he was getting weird looks from Duo, Quatre, Wufei and the girls Heero gave them questioning looks. What was going on? What had he said?

Everyone staying very quiet after that they all finally left when Cat's color had returned and her pulse and other vitals were going strong. "We'll call Lady Une and tell her that Cat's ill." Quatre said quietly as they made to leave. Cat still hadn't woken up yet but Colin, who'd dropped in again, had said that she might sleep until morning. "We'll take turns standing guard outside too, just in case. Even if the word in the afterlife is that he wants her alive, that could always change."

Trowa nodding in response everyone quickly filed out to leave the two alone. Once they were out of the house Heero immediately demanded to know why they'd all been looking at him like that.

"You can be such an idiot at times." Duo informed his best friend, shaking his head at Heero's ignorance. "Think about it? How would you feel if you found out your WIFE called another MAN, your FRIEND, for help when she was in trouble and then on top of that find out that your FRIEND actually undressed said WIFE and therefore saw her NAKED."

Blinking Heero didn't quite get it. "But it's Cat."

"Men." Was Anna's opinion as she lead the way back to the main house. "You're just lucky he didn't come in armed."

I

Sitting on the bed with his hand clenching hers tightly Trowa watched the rise and fall of her chest, breathing in time with her. She was so still, he thought, wishing that there was more that he could do. And he wished she was awake so he could ask her why the hell she hadn't called him for help. Why had she called Heero instead of him? Heero. Dammit. He knew, mentally at least that he had no reason to worry in that area but it ate at him that rather then call him she'd turned to their friend for help instead. Were things so bad between them that she'd felt she couldn't count on him? That was even worse then having to stay mad at her and sleep without her. Lifting his free hand to brush her bangs away from her face Trowa looked down at their joined fingers, taking comfort in the fact that the glow between them spread up to their shoulders, glowing more brightly then when Suki and Heero had been working together. It was some comfort, to see that physical show of their bond. His sharp eyes missing nothing he leaned forward as he saw her eyelashes begin to flutter, weakly at first before the lids slowly rising half way. "Cat, Cat open your eyes."

It was a struggle but hearing Trowa's voice, hearing him ask her to open her eyes Cat fought to do so, slowly able to open her eyes the rest of the way so that she could look up into Trowa's concerned face. He looked really worried and strained, Cat thought, doing her best to weakly squeeze his hand so that he'd know she was aware of him and what was going on. She was home and she was with him. Things were definitely looking up since the last time she'd been conscious, Cat thought with a wry look.

"How are you feeling?" Trowa asked, the relief immense as she looked up at him, her eyes tired but without pain.

"Been...better." Was her weak reply as she glanced around before turning her attention back to him. "Guess...Heero found me..okay."

"Yeah, he did. Not that you were in the best of shape when he found you and Colin."

"Colin? Yeah..should have called him too. Wasn't up to it. Happened too fast." Now that she thought about it, hadn't Colin said something about them being mentally linked or something along those lines? That she'd only needed to mentally call out to him and he'd be able to hear her no matter where he was. Damn, she'd picked a hell of a time to forget that, Cat thought in self disgust. Boy was angel boy mad at her right now, she'd bet the bank on it. She was in for one hell of a lecture from all the men in her life probably. Wasn't that just such a comforting thought? "I'm in a lot of trouble..aren't I?"

"Oh you have no idea how much."

After a long moment of silence Cat gave him a weak smile. "Well...at least I got my bed back."

I

Staring at her Trowa slowly shook his head, unable to prevent the small smile from crossing his face. Only Cat, he thought with a mixture of exasperation and amusement. That was quickly gone though since as she'd pointed out, she was in a lot of trouble. "You do realize how close you came to dying again tonight, don't you?"

"Yup. When it..takes you two..hours...to get the engery...to grab your phone...you know you're..in trouble." Speaking of which, she was going to have to get Trowa to call her in sick for tomorrow. There was no way she was going to be up to working, especially since she was already starting to tire out.

"And you called Heero." Okay, he hadn't meant to say it like that but dammit, it was really bothering him.

"Yeah, thankfully he..had his..phone on..or I'd have..been screwed." Thank God it wasn't his week to baby sit Relena at some meeting or gathering. Sending some thanks to the big guy upstairs for that it took her a moment to clue in to the tone he'd used in that statement. Focusing on keeping her eyes open Cat stared into his intently, not surprised when she couldn't read them. It was hard enough to do on her best day after all.

"I'm surprised you didn't call Quatre or I, you know how Heero tends to ignore his cell or turn it off when he's working." Okay, that was worded well. He didn't sound like an overly jealous husband, which he was being dammit. This was Cat and Heero, logically he knew he had nothing to worry about. For some reason his logic wanted to go out the window and kill Heero which of course wasn't logical either.

"Quatre...too Quatre...You..mad..at me. Might...not...have answered."

"I'll never be too mad at you to come to your rescue." Trowa said softly, his shoulders slumping both in relief and anger at himself for letting her think, even for a minute, that he wouldn't be there for her if she needed him. At least he wouldn't have to kill Heero now, that was a relief, he thought with a small smile.

"Promise?"

"Promise. You might be an idiot..but you're my idiot."

"Gee...thanks. I love you..too."


	7. Hit Like A Girl

Disclaimer: As always I own nothing but the original characters and the situations I put them in. Everything else belongs to somebody else so just remember to give the credit where it's due. Thanks to all those who've been reading my stuff and please review because I really do love to hear from you. Thanks and have a great day!

Hit Like A Girl

Strolling along the crowded street Cat looked over at her shoulder to glare at Duo who looked as unhappy as she was to have him trailing after her. It had been a week since her run in with Devlin and since then the guys had stuck to her like glue, a part of her punishment to her way of thinking. She was even wearing a security bracelet for Christ sakes. She could feel it around her ankle and longed to hire someone to get it off since she didn't know how to do it herself. But if she did they'd all be even angrier than they already were. If that was possible. Which wasn't really fair since they were constantly taking stupid risks but try telling them that. All she'd gotten was dark looks, threats and the warning that if she ever did something so stupid again they'd make her life a living hell. Starting with painting her house pink. The bastards. Next they'd be trying to handcuff her to Dorothy or something equally horrifying. Which was saying a lot since dragging around Dorothy's corpse was not the way she liked to spend her days. And Dorothy would end up as a corpse pretty quick, it was just inadvertable if neither could walk away from the other. She could so take Dorothy down and it would be their faults for sticking them together in the first place. Of course than she'd end up in jail and under lock and key, something they wanted to do already. Smart bastards, her family.

* * *

"Can I please walk beside you?" Duo begged from behind her, his tone perilously close to whining. "Everyone's giving me looks here. I think they all think I'm stalking you." 

"And I care why?"

"Because if I get stopped by police that means you have to come with me or everyone will be mad. You don't want to explain to Trowa why I end up in a police station because of you, now do you? Come on, Cat, give me a break here. I'm not enjoying this anymore than you are!"

"Fine, but no useless chatter." The things she suffered for her husband's sake, Cat thought darkly as Duo picked up his pace to match his strides with her own. If people kept using her husband against her she was going to have to hurt them. This was what happened when you hung around with people. They learned your one weakness than exploited it as much as possible in order to manipulate you into doing things you didn't want to do. This was what she got for running into traffic with Quatre Winner in the vicinity. Nothing but trouble.

"So where are we going again?" Duo asked, hunching his shoulders slightly in response to the vibes she was giving off. Jeez, you'd think he'd run over her pet dog, the way she was glaring at him. Well maybe pet cat, she hated dogs. It was sort of cute the way she hissed whenever she saw them, especially since they seemed to know instinctively that she'd been a cat for a couple months and barked back. Now wasn't the time to mention that though. In fact, the less he talk the better things would be for the both of them.

"I need a new leather jacket. Devlin wasted my old one, the bastard."

* * *

"We're going shopping?" Perking up slightly Duo began to mentally list all the things he needed to pick up and the various shops he was going to try and talk Cat into going into so that he could do some browsing. It had been a while since he'd had the free time to drop in at the mall. Wait a minute..they were nowhere near any mall he knew of. 

"We are not going shopping, shopping is for mindless consumers who've been brainwashed by the media and representatives of the economy into believing that ones needs to buy everything they see in the hopes that it will make their pathetic lives a little better when in fact all it's doing is making them poorer and thus worse off. I do not shop."

"Right..." Sighing Duo knew better than to argue her, especially since it would only end with her labeling him as one of those mindless consumers. "Is there anything you like doing that doesn't involve blood, violence and Trowa?"

"Why did you mention him in that list? People usually stick with the violence and blood." Intrigued Cat raised an eyebrow as Duo's face went bright red, the older man looking away in obvious embarrassment. Golden eyes narrowing Cat had the feeling she should be punching him but without knowing for sure she couldn't excuse herself for doing it later after Duo went crying to Trowa about it. Dammit. Thinking to fool him into giving her a reason Cat put her hands on her hips. "Well? I'm waiting."

"And you're going to be waiting a very long time because I don't want to die." Was his response as he defensively jammed his hands into his coat pockets. "Now can we get your jacket so that we can go home please? If we stay here too long we won't be back in time for dinner and we're having lasagna."

"We are? Sweet."

* * *

Sensing he was safe for now Duo didn't risk riling her up again by talking. They'd walked two more blocks before she came to a sudden stop, her gaze fixed on an empty park bench that had been sprayed with the word haunted in red paint that had dripped down like blood. Strangely enough, it was slightly faded, like it had been there for a while. "Creepy." He commented, shaking his head over it. "You'd think someone would have painted over that by now." 

"Maybe she wouldn't let them."

"She?"

"The ghost sitting on the bench glaring at us like she'd like to push us in front of ongoing traffic."

* * *

While Duo was processing this news with resigned misery Cat sized up the spirit who was watching her intently, knowing instinctively that the woman coming towards her with the long haired man could somehow see her. The spirit looked to be in her late thirties, her clothing consistent with the style of a few generations ago. At least she wasn't a very old ghost, Cat thought, thinking that there was nothing worse than a fixated ghost who'd been around for centuries. When they'd been around that long you knew they were stubborn sons of bitches who wouldn't move if God himself ordered them to. 

"Here we go again." Duo muttered, used to being dragged along into this sort of thing. The first few times had been pretty spooky, Cat telling him there was a ghost which he of course couldn't see. Now it was no big deal so long as Cat didn't piss the ghost off enough for the ghost to attempt to attack them. Since it was Cat he'd had more than a few ghosts attempt to hurl inanimate objects at their heads.

"Go away." The spirit said before Cat had a chance to say anything. "I'm not moving."

"And people say I'm rude." Was Cat's response as she took a seat on the end of the bench, just to piss the spirit off. They were easier to deal with when they were stirred up, otherwise they just annoyed her with their lifelessness. They got so used to being ignored that their people skills became even worse than hers which anyone would tell you was saying something. Two people unable to communicate at all made getting the ghost to leave even more annoying than usual. "Duo, you can sit on the far end if you want. She's in the middle."

"I'll stand, thanks." Moving so that it could appear that she was talking to him Duo was thankful that this area of the street wasn't terribly crowded. Then again, from the way people were giving the bench a wide breadth and shaking their heads at Cat they probably wouldn't overly care that she looked like she was talking to thin air. They already thought she was nuts just for sitting down. Not a good sign.

* * *

"You can't make me move." The spirit hissed, glaring at Cat as she ignored a thankful Duo for the moment. "It's against the rules for a messenger to force anyone to cross over." 

"True but I'm obligated to try. So why don't you just tell me why you're rooted to this place, I'll make a half baked effort to act like I care whether you cross over or not and than I'll leave you here to wallow in your own stupidity."

"I'm not stupid!"

"Yes you are. I can tell when a soul is corrupted and yours isn't." Cat stated bluntly, seeing no reason to beat around the bush. "In other words you'd likely go on to heaven or at the worst purgatory when you cross over. The fact that you'd rather sit here day after day without any contact with people whatsoever makes you incredibly stupid. I don't like most people but it wouldn't be any fun if I they couldn't hear me tell them what useless, annoying idiots they are. And this spot, there isn't even a view. If I was going to fixate myself I'd at least find a place where I had something better to look at then sidewalk, concrete and people."

"You wouldn't understand! None of you understand. You come here and you tell me how great heaven is and how happy I'll be there but it's lies, all lies! You just want to be able to say you got me to move, I don't matter to you!"

"Did I say you matter to me? Why the hell should I care about you? I don't know you and I don't care about most of the people I do know. This guy here is one of my best friends and I don't even like him half the time."

"Well ouch." Duo exclaimed, rubbing a hand over his heart dramatically. He couldn't say he was surprised though. In every act he'd seen her commit in the name of God she'd never made any attempt to hide the fact that she was only doing this because it was expected of her and to keep Colin off her back. In her way he thought she really did care deep down but it was so deep you couldn't be sure it existed at all. "Now that's just mean, Cat."

"So? I like being mean. Mean is better than a lot of other personality disorders I could have. Imagine if I was perky. Perky people are so much more annoying than mean people. Perky people should all be tied to chairs and forced to watch Barney tapes until they deliberately starve themselves just to escape the horror that is that purple dinosaur."

"Have I told you today how horribly twisted you are?" Duo asked, shaking his head at her.

"Nope, I don't think so." Was her cheeky response.

* * *

Not at all used to being ignored by a servant of God the spirit didn't know what to make of this woman called Cat. The messengers she'd met over the years were usually incessantly happy, preaching the word of God and talking to her like she was a child who simply needed to be shown the light. This woman was mean, sarcastic and honestly didn't seem to care one way or another whether she left the bench. It could be a trick, but she had a hard time believing that anyone could pull off this sort of act without actually being as twisted as the role she was playing. "Why would anyone want you as a messenger of God?" She finally asked bluntly, speaking exactly what was on her mind. 

"That's what I said!" Face lighting up slightly, having found a kindred spirit on this matter Cat was suddenly feeling more kindly to the bitchy spirit. "I told Colin, I told him that no one would ever want me as their messenger but did he listen? NO! Now I have to go around helping strangers who more often than not deserve to fall off a building like the last guy I had to deal with. Sometimes I think God stuck me with this job to kill two birds with one stone."

"And how do you figure that?" Duo wanted to know, hoping he wasn't interrupting the spirit since he couldn't hear her. Interrupting a spirit while they were talking was probably not a good thing.

"Well he did it so that he could make me miserable and all the other screwed up people miserable at the same time by forcing us to have to interact with each other."

'You know, since he's God and all I don't think he's the vindictive sort. Then again...this is you we're talking about here." A Catholic Duo was very big on the whole committing sin coming back to haunt you deal.

"So God's a man than? I had a sister who was convinced he had to be a she. I guess she got one hell of a shock when she crossed over." The spirit asked, looking faintly amused now. It had been a long time since anyone had bothered her and these two were very amusing, in a brother and sister sort of way. She'd bet that they fought like terriers and ripped to shred anyone who tried to hurt the other.

* * *

"How can anyone think that son of a bitch is a girl?" Cat demanded to know while Duo instinctively crossed himself over her blasphemy. "I mean look at the things in life women are stuck dealing with! Every month, every friggin month we go through a week of hell and all because we aren't knocked up. Then if we are knocked up we have to go through nine months of hell with bladder problems, back problems, hurling everywhere, too many problems to count! My friend Anna's carrying twins and she can't even see her feet anymore! We all have to help her in and out of chairs and do you have any idea how often they have to go to the bathroom? It's insane! No woman would put other women through that. Not if they were their worst enemy. Not even Doro...okay...maybe Dorothy's that cruel. But if God were anything like Dorothy no one would go to Heaven anymore because no one would want to." 

Fascinated despite herself the spirit had to ask. "Who's Dorothy?"

"Uh oh, now you've done it." Was Duo's muttered reply as Cat sucked in some more air for her next tirade. Bashing Dorothy was one of Cat's favorite things to do, right up there with sleeping and scaring her soldiers through evil glares, threats and lectures.

"She's the evilist thing created since high heels and Teletubbies. She's this blonde demon with devil horn eyebrows that no one will let me kill but I keep telling them that if I did I wouldn't be punished because who in their right mind would punish me for doing my part to make the world a better place? She's obviously a servant of Satan and therefore it should be my duty to wipe her off the face of the earth. But nooooo, they always stop me and say God didn't bring me back to life to have me screw mine up again by taking her out. Personally I think some time in hell would be worth it but none of them agree." Jabbing a finger in Duo's direction for emphasis. "I came up with this brilliant plan just last week but this asshole here had to steal my blueprints and take them to Trowa. Now he's talking about having Dorothy take out a restraining order against me."

"You were going to hot wire her car! What was I supposed to do!"

"You were supposed to let me turn her Mustang into a very large remote control car so that I could have her run over various annoying politicians so that the world would not only be short a few but than she'd go to prison for running them over. It was a win, win situation!"

* * *

"Has anyone ever told you that you're a little violent?" The spirit asked, biting down on her lower lip to keep from bursting out laughing. 

"Only a little bit?" Cat answered, raising an eyebrow. "I find that insulting. I'm just plain violent."

"And I have the scratches to prove it." Duo added.

"So why this bench?" Cat asked, abruptly changing the subject back to the main topic of conversation. After all, as much as she enjoyed a receptive audience she couldn't sit around on a seemingly empty bench all day and bitch. Someone might call the cops to get her and that would just end badly. Very, very badly.

"I was killed right over there." The spirit answered, somehow feeling comfortable now that she could see this messenger as a fellow human being rather then some holy being come to judge her. "A car accident. I heard later that the woman's brakes went out, there was nothing she could have done. Well, other than get her car regularly serviced that is." She added with a faint smirk.

"I died at a fancy party and then on a rooftop in a jungle." Cat offered, looking at the various cars whizzing by, able to picture the scene the spirit had described. "I tried to get run over by a car too but a friend of this idiot here had to body chuck me out of the way."

"How could you die more than once? Did doctors bring you back?"

"No, not exactly. At the party I took a bullet to the heart but God put me into a sort of coma so that my body would be around to die that second time. It's sort of hard to explain and it gets really freaky when I try. Basically, I think God knows a hell of a lot about the future and he plays us all like the world's his chess game and we're all his pieces. He's always moving us to where he thinks we need to be in the hopes that as many of us as possible get to the other side."

Grinning Duo lightly punched Cat in the shoulder. "That's almost deep, coming from you."

Her response to that was to draw her fist back and punch him ten times harder in the shoulder. "Don't interrupt me or I'll hurt you."

"Too late." Duo whined, rubbing his now throbbing shoulder. "You're a girl for Christ sakes. Why can't you hit like one?"

"Don't make me cause another car accident by throwing you at one."


	8. Haunt His Cheating Ass

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the original characters and the situations I put them in. Everything else belongs to someone else and that's just the way it's going to stay unfortunately. Thanks for reading and please review!

Haunt His Cheating Ass

"You two could be a comedy routine." The ghost laughed, grinning at her two guests who were proving to be quite entertaining in a violent, name calling sort of way. There she was, stuck in the middle while they elbowed each other through her. It was lucky that she wasn't solid otherwise her sides would have been black and blue by now. They didn't even realize they were doing it.

"Don't make me hurt you too." Cat threatened, sending the spirit a dark look for daring to suggest such a thing. "I don't know how but there has to be some way to hurt a ghost and if you really piss me off you should know I'm vindictive enough to find it."

"She really is." Duo agreed, still rubbing his side gingerly. She was just so damn mean!

"Sorry, but you two are pretty funny. Just like my older brothers actually. They used to fight like rabid dogs over the stupidest things but if anyone tried to mess with one you ended up messing with all of them in a total blood bath. They used to say that the only one allowed to beat up one of their brothers was them. Sticking up for each other was pretty much the only time they showed anything resembling brotherly love."

"God..how many brothers did you have?" Cat wanted to know, suddenly getting the uncomfortable feeling that she could totally relate to this spirit when it came to annoying ass brothers. After all, what were Heero, Quatre, Wufei and Duo but her family, her brothers. Colin was like a brother too, since he pissed her off as much as the others did. Pissing you off was what brothers did best according to Relena.

"I had four. I was the only girl."

"No wonder you don't want to cross over. You'd be going to hell no matter which way you went."

"They aren't that bad and I don't even know if they're dead yet. I haven't been dead that long you know." The spirit informed Cat, smirking over the idea that Cat equated being in heaven with her brothers as being a hell in heaven so to speak. "Do you have any brothers?"

"I have some honorary ones."

"Honorary what?" Duo wanted to know, struggling to keep up with this one sided conversation he was listening to. Something about hell and brothers? But what did that have to do with honorary? Were they equating having brothers with being in hell? Like sisters were any better. At least guys didn't borrow your clothes or pull out baby pictures to show your dates just to embarrass you. Quatre had told him stories about having sisters that would put a man off women for life.

"None of your business, stupid."

"DON'T CALL ME STUPID!"

* * *

"Don't you two ever get along?" Colin asked, scaring the hell out of Duo as the guardian angel appeared out of nowhere with his hands on the surprised spirits shoulders. Now she was visible to Duo who got an even bigger shock when he could hear the spirit demand for Colin to take his hands off her. "I'm only doing this so that Duo can hear us, Elizabeth." Colin explained soothingly, not wanting to upset the troubled woman or the easily excited pilot. "My name is Colin and I'm Cat's supervisor. I just came to check out how she was doing, I haven't come to try and remove you." 

"Oh." Tipping her head up to get a better look Elizabeth suspiciously looked into Colin's eyes. "Then you should know you did a really crappy job training her. She's been here for at least fifteen minutes and all she's done is convince me crossing over is the last thing I want to do."

"You would be amazed at how often I hear that." Colin said with a sigh, shaking his head sadly. "The fact is she's so successful at this job because she manipulates, threatens and scares everyone into doing what she wants. You wouldn't believe how many times I've failed to convince newly arrived angels that she wasn't one of Satan's minions or Lucifer in disguise."

"Excellent." Doing her best Mr. Burns impression Cat grinned at Colin who just shook his head again. "Oh come on, Colin, lighten up. At least I keep your life from being boring."

"There is that, yes."

* * *

"So does Cat get evaluated and stuff?" Duo wanted to know, curious about the whole process. Cat had told them bits and pieces about what she'd learned about heaven but she wasn't exactly the curious type and didn't really ask questions unless they asked her to. 

"In a manner of speaking. Her wings are basically her evaluation though." Colin answered with a rueful look. Seeing Elizabeth's confused look he explained for her benefit. "The color of a messenger or angel's wings indicates the state of his or her soul and the sort of heavenly standing they have. When one has reached the highest level their wings are pure white while those on the bottom of the scale have black or gray wings."

"I see. Are yours pitch black than?" Elizabeth asked Cat.

"Give her time." Duo muttered, yelping when he got another elbow in his side.

"No, they are not. Anyway, I've got lasagna waiting for me at home so I'll just leave you to Colin so that Duo and I can get going." Getting to her feet Cat sent Duo a look that told him great pain would be heading is way if he dared to argue.

"Food is more important to you than saving my soul?"

"Yup, pretty much."

* * *

"If angels could get ulcers I swear you'd have given me millions by now." Colin muttered, giving Cat a dark look as he reached over to force her back into her seat. Damn but she made it hard for him to defend her often excessive actions. "For God sakes, Cat, could you please at least try to pretend you're a true messenger of God? One who actually cares about your fellow man. Would it kill you?" 

"She doesn't want to leave the stupid bench. I wouldn't be making her happy if I made her leave it so I am doing my job." Cat argued with a smirk, amused by her supervisor's constant struggle to make an angel out of her. They even had bets going at home as to when he'd finally admit she was unreformable. She was betting it would take him at least another decade minimum.

"While they're arguing can I ask you why you'd want to stick around here?" Duo asked Elizabeth while Cat and Colin engaged in yet another argument about her behavior and lack of compassion towards her assignments and fellow man. "I mean, why would you want to look at the place that ended your life every day for all eternity?"

"Most people...they want to go to heaven because they believe their loved ones are there and that it will be the perfect world where there's no pain or war right?" She asked, waiting until Duo nodded before continuing with her explanation. "Well heaven can't be like that for me. When I died...my family and I weren't speaking and my marriage was falling apart. I don't have anyone up there waiting for me and I know that when I get there the people most important to me won't want to see me. I'd rather stay here, in the real world, than pass on and face the fact that the only one left who loves me is God. He's God and all that but...but...he loves all of us, not just me. I'm not special to him..the way I was when I was happy with everyone."

"That's so sad!" Looking close to tears Duo tried to hug her only to go half way through her before he jerked back. "Sorry! Sorry!"

"That's okay. Thanks for the thought."

* * *

"What are you apologizing for?" Cat wanted to know, interrupting Colin who'd been in mid rant to see why Duo looked close to crying, the emotional idiot. 

"I sorta forgot she was a spirit when I tried to hug her. You should listen to her, Cat, she's got a really good reason for not wanting to cross over. It's so sad!" Summarizing what Elizabeth had told him before the spirit could open her mouth to do it Duo looked more torn up about it than Elizabeth did.

"That is a good reason. Shame on you for trying to make me make her go to heaven." Jabbing a finger in Colin's direction Cat latched on to the excuse not to get involved with both hands. "Just leave her alone, you big bully!"

"Oh that's rich, coming from you." Was his sarcastic reply to that. "And don't pretend you're doing all this for her benefit because we both know you're just using her reason as an excuse not to do anything. For all you know she could be wrong about how her family feels about her. They could be in heaven right now waiting for her to rejoin them so that they can mend their relationships. You haven't even bothered to ask what caused the family rift in the first place or why her marriage was in trouble."

"You didn't ask her that either."

"Because I'm not the one who's supposed to be helping her! I just came down to check on you, you annoying little brat!"

* * *

"There they go again." Watching Colin and Cat break out into more childish name calling and insults Duo decided he was the only one here who was going to do anything about Elizabeth's situation for her own benefit. "Could Colin be right, Elizabeth? Is there a possibility that whatever the problems were that they could be fixed?" 

"As if I would forgive him." Was her bitter reply.

"Forgive who?" Cat asked who had been tuning Colin out since she knew how much it pissed him off to be ignored.

"My husband. Can you believe he accused me of cheating on him? The bastard." Eyes flashing Elizabeth looked as dangerous as Cat for a moment. "We were married for five years! Five years and he didn't know me well enough to know that I'd never cheat on him, that I loved him, damn him to hell. He was probably cheating on me you know. You always get accused of cheating when your spouse is because they have to believe you're as rotten a bastard as they are. I never so much as seriously flirted with a guy while I was married to that rotten bastard. He even told my family and they believed him over me! I was their daughter, their flesh and blood and they still believed him over me. Can you believe that?"

"If that was the case then why the hell didn't you haunt his cheating ass?" Cat wanted to know, unable to understand doing otherwise. "If I had been you I'd have dedicated my afterlife to making his a living hell twenty four seven. By the time I was done HE'D be walking in front of traffic just to get away from me. Hell would have looked more appealing than sticking around on earth to suffer my wrath."

"I'm telling Trowa you said that."

* * *

"Do you really think I wanted to follow the cheating bastard around and see him rejoicing in my death while he enjoyed all the money he made off my life insurance?" Was the spirit's indignant reply to Cat's words. "And who's Trowa?" Elizabeth added, curious and wanting to think about something other than her own failed marriage. 

"Her husband. He's surprisingly sane despite having to live with this hellion." Was Colin's response to her question. He didn't think Duo needed to mention this to Trowa though. The Silencer was smart enough to know that cheating on Cat was akin to asking to be cut open one vein at a time and than dropped in a tub of rubbing alcohol.

"You're married?" Surprised Elizabeth looked over at Cat's left hand where the simple wedding band was visible. "You don't look like the marrying type. Is he good looking?"

With a surprisingly girlie grin Cat pulled out her wallet. "Hell yes." Flipping through she stopped at a picture of the two of them and held it out for Elizabeth to see. It was their wedding photo and it was worn from the number of times she'd had to pull it out to prove that the ring around her finger was in fact a wedding band. For some reason no one ever seem to want to believe that anyone would marry her, or at least willingly. He was wearing his Preventers uniform and she was wearing a simple, spaghetti strapped white dress that had looked pretty good on her, all things considering. It wasn't covered in frills or lace which had been her major fears anyway. They looked happy in the picture, mostly because it was taken just before they'd gotten to leave the huge party to go on their honeymoon. They'd been completely, totally nuts, letting Anna and Suki plan the reception.

* * *

"Damn! That's the best looking guy I've ever seen alive and dead! Nice! How the hell does he get his bangs to fall like that?" Leaning forward Elizabeth had to admit that her violent messenger had caught herself one gorgeous hunk of a man. Those eyes, that body, the whole damn package! 

"I've been trying to figure that out for years." Cat admitted with a sheepish grin, shrugging her shoulders in defeat. "From what I can tell..they just go like that naturally."

"Weird. So would you really do all that to him, haunt him I mean, if he cheated on you?"

"Well if he found someone else AFTER I was dead I'd probably let him be...or just make her life a living hell for taking my place. If I was still alive when he cheated you can bet your ghostly ass he'd be the one heading for the great beyond, not me. Oh yes, he would not be long on this earth once I found out what he'd been up to And I guess, if I died and then found out he was cheating...well hell yes I'd haunt him and make his life a living hell. Not that Trowa ever would of course but if he ever did go temporarily insane or suicidal..."

"That's what I would have said before my marriage fell apart."

"Yeah but you and your bastard hubby were normal. Trowa and I aren't normal. We're decidedly abnormal. We're the only two people who could put up with the other for long periods of time without killing each other. Neither of us pay much attention to the general public and those who try to get to know us are usually scared off by either my violent nature or his inability to communicate normally. That aside, we both have licenses to kill and are extremely trigger happy. Why would we want to throw away our lives for some meaningless sex when we get plenty of sex at home anyway?"

"If you start talking about your sex life I'm out of here." Duo announced firmly, Colin silently agreeing with him. There was no way either of them were going to stick around if the situation continued on its present course. No way in Hell.

"Oh like you men don't stand around in your locker rooms bragging about your recent piece of brainless ass and how great you only think you are in bed." Was Cat's response to that announcement.

"How did we even get on this topic? We're supposed to be helping Elizabeth!"

* * *

Smirking at Duo, who was looking a little red in the face now, Cat decided to cut the poor bastard a little slack. After all, he couldn't help it that she was just a million times smarter than he was. God had just made him that way. "We've already established that she wants to stay here, Duo. What else can we do but let her have her way?" 

"You could look into her past for one thing, Cat." Colin pointed out, sending his underling a stern look which she pointedly ignored. "Are you even sure your whole family, your husband included, are already in heaven, Elizabeth? You have only been dead for six decades and you were only twenty seven when you died. It's likely that your parents will have passed away but it's possible that your brothers and husband are still living."

"But it doesn't really matter whether they're dead or not, does it? It's not like I can go to heaven and than just leave once they start coming. It's better to just stay here and not risk it." Elizabeth pointed out reasonably, sorry that they were back to talking about her. The other line of conversation had been a hell of a lot more interesting after all. Give her sex over talking about her rat bastard husband anyday.

"She has a point." Cat agreed, nodding her head for emphasis..and just to annoy Colin. It was almost perverse, her love of pissing him off. Just one of her guilty little pleasures, she thought wickedly.

"Cat...just please...for the love of God...do some research!" On the point of seriously wishing he could throw a certain someone in front of traffic himself Colin could only marvel at her ability to push him over the edge with such little effort. He always seemed to end up practically begging her to do her job. She was practically a full time job in herself

"If I do some research will you shut up?"

"YES!"

"Fine." Sighing deeply, like she'd just taken the weight of the world onto her shoulders Cat turned her head to look at Elizabeth. "What's your last name? It shouldn't be hard to find you seeing as I know where you died and when."

"Hamilton. But I'm not leaving, no matter what you find out."

"Deal."


	9. Evil Minds Think Alike

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the original characters and the situations I put them in. Everything else belongs to somebody else and that's just the way it's gotta be. Thanks to all my lovely readers out there and please continue to review because I love to hear from you. Hope you enjoy and have an awesome day!

Evil Minds Think Alike

The next day at lunch time Heero, Wufei and Trowa were surprised to spot Colin sitting on one of the benches on the Preventers' grounds. Even more surprising was the fact that he was holding a leash in one hand which was attached to one of those fro fro little dogs which seemed to be all the rage among empty headed stars these days. The leash was taunt and it was obvious the dog was putting everything it had trying to break free of Colin's hold, the angel in turn looking the way he normally did after more than five minutes around Cat. In other words, he was not a happy camper at the moment. Curious as to what Cat had done this time and wondering if it had something to do with the ghost their girl had met yesterday the three wandered over to see what he was up to, Colin looking over with a miserable look on his face once he noticed their approach. "Hey, guys."

"What did she do now?" Trowa asked, seeing no reason to beat around the bush. The sooner he knew what trouble she'd gotten herself into the sooner he could get her out and spare Colin what stress he could.

"Nothing at the moment. This is my current problem." Yanking on the leash just in time to prevent the dog from biting his leg again Colin cursed under his breath colorfully, going pink in the cheeks when he realized what he'd done. "Pardon my language...it's just..well it's just that this guy is worse than Cat ever was! SHE never tried to bite me at least!"

* * *

"Guy? So there's a human's soul stuck in that mutt?" Wufei asked, looking down at the dog with interest. He wasn't much of a dog person and if he had been he certainly wouldn't have gotten a dog like this. It was strange, how the idea of a guy having his soul stuck in a dog no longer fazed him in the least. Sometimes he saw roadkill and wondered if they'd just been more successful than Cat in the whole getting run over business. Not a pleasant thought, Wufei mused as he asked Colin a question after he'd nodded in confirmation. "Do they deliberately chose girlie, fluffy animals to hide the fact that the souls inside are pure evil?"

"And how could he possibly be worse than Cat? She was causing more trouble when she was in a cat's body than most human beings could cause in a lifetime." Heero added, unable to imagine even as the dog barked at them angrily, indicating that he didn't appreciate being ignore or dismissed.

"Oh he definitely could be. Frankly I don't even know why he was considered for a second chance, he wants it even less than Cat did. Plus, at least Cat had some redeeming qualities, I can't find any in him to speak of. I was given orders to give him to Cat to help him adjust to the whole human in animal body thing but that makes even less sense than giving him this second chance at redemption. If I did give him to her she'd either kill him or they'd join forces and become that much eviler and harder to manage. It's a no win situation for me!"

"Not to mention Cat isn't a dog person." Trowa pointed out dryly, understanding Colin's dilemma. He certainly didn't want some demon dog running around his house and he had the uncomfortable feeling that the only thing keeping that dog from charging them was the shortness of the leash. There was a gleam in those beady black eyes that worried him in the same way Heero smiling did. People or animals, if they were acting out of character there was always a reason..usually a negative one.

"Yeah, I know. And I just know that if I go in there and try to give him to her the fur will fly and I've had a bad enough day as it is. If I had my way I'd let him have his way and set him free but lord only knows what he'd do before he was put down at some shelter. In the first three hours back on earth he caused two car accidents, bit twelve people and ate a little kid's hot dog right out of his hand."

* * *

Whistling under his breath Heero joined the other three men in looking down at the dog who had an almost smug look on his furry face as he stared up at them with a just try and mess with me aura. The fact that he could generate one, looking the way he did, said a lot about his personality and his need for an adjustment in that area. "Maybe you should have him fixed?" Heero suggested, crossing his arms in front of him. "That might get it through to him that you mean business."

The inhuman growl that came out of the dog's mouth as well as it's attempt to charge Heero made it perfectly clear how he felt about that idea. Before the dog had even reached the end of the leash it came to an abrupt halt though no one thought for a moment it was because Colin had yelled at it. Instead they all turned their heads in the direction the dog was gazing and weren't the least surprised to see Cat walking towards them, her eyes narrowing as she looked at the dog as though she intended to kick it.

"What is that thing doing here?" Cat literally hissed, the hairs on the back of her neck sticking out in agitation as she glared at the furry little beast. She hated dogs to begin with, ones with the souls of human asseholes were that much worse. "And I can hear you by the way, mutt. Make one more comment about my lack of rack and I kick you so hard you'll never come down again."

You and what army, baby, was the dog's smug response to that one.

"I am in the army, moron. That's why I'm wearing the uniform. Then again, you are in the body of a dog after all so I guess they figured being in the body of a disgusting, stupid creature with a small EVERYTHING would suit you."

Colin and Wufei had a hard time holding back smirks at that last part while Heero and Trowa just rolled their eyes at the juvinileness of it all while secretly smirking right along with the others.

'If I were in my own body I'd cut you open like a fish.'

"If you were in your own body I'd have used the adjective minuscule instead of small. At least they put you in a dog's body so you'd know what it was like to have one that's visible to the naked eye."

* * *

"Now it's just getting ugly." Watching the two and only being able to hear Cat's side of the conversation Wufei could only imagine the filth that was coming out of that dog's mind. If Cat's words were anything to go by it was probably a good thing they were only listening to half of it.

"She has such a way with words though." Heero pointed out, having always admired that about her. Watching her shoot down Duo was one of his personal pleasures and it was quite obvious that Cat was winning this pissing match, even without hearing the dog. The way things were going the thing might strangle itself, straining against the collar that way in his attempt to get at Cat who of course was taunting him over the fact that he couldn't reach her.

"Aren't you going to stop them?" Trowa asked Colin, watching the angel watch his charges with a mixture of resignation and a rather unholy gleam. If he wasn't mistaken, the angel was getting a kick out of this, Trowa thought in amusement.

"They'll wear each other out and then neither of them will get into trouble today. It's a win win situation."

Raising an eyebrow Trowa stated the obvious. "For you anyway. What if she really does kill him? In that body, a five year old could do it, much less someone with her violent tendencies."

"Who has violent tendencies?" Cat demanded to know, interrupting whatever Colin had been about to say.

"I said you do."

"Oh. Gotcha. Hear that, Mr. Leg Humper? My hubby over there is a former assassin and he thinks I'M violent compared to him. We'll just see which of us strangles who with your damn leash, Dog Boy."

* * *

"I think you two need to be separated." Walking over Trowa took his wife's arm, drawing her away from the dog which earned him a death glare from her for his troubles and a loud growl from the pooch. "Now you didn't come out here to fight with the demented dog and we aren't going to let you kill him so what did you want, Cat?"

Annoyed and peeved that Trowa had interrupted Cat gave him a dark than pleading look. "Can't I kill him first? It will only take a second and he just said some really insulting things that anyone would consider justifiable grounds for killing him. Slowly and painfully even. I should get points for wanting to kill him quickly in fact. So pleaseeeeeeeeee?"

"He'd just be brought back and you'd be in trouble." Colin reminded her.

"Yeah but he'd be brought back as something worse than a dog right? You told me that if I died I'd come back as something worse than a cat remember?"

"Yes but I told you that when you were planning your own demise, Cat. It doesn't work that way if someone else kills you. They might even bring him back as something better to compensate for the time lost by being dead again."

"Damn. Can I kick him a couple times then?"

"No. Now what did you come out here for?" His wife wasn't a nature person and Trowa knew that she'd rather be napping away in her office chair than outside enjoying the fresh air. Odd for someone who'd lived in the body of a cat but then again she'd found just as much trouble outside as she had inside. Finding trouble was never a problem in her case. Maybe she'd just sensed the dog's presence and somehow knowing she could pick a fight with him had been drawn out of her chair.

Scowling up at him Cat stuck out her bottom lip in a pout before firming it up, the action just too girlie for her to pull off anyway. "You said I wasn't to leave the building without telling you until I find Devlin and kick his ass back to hell. So I'm telling you."

"And where are you going?"

"I'm not two, you know. I can go places without having to check it out with you first like you're my dad or something, Barton."

"Well don't ask and I'll behave like your dad and tan your behind."

* * *

Eyes going wide Cat opened and closed her mouth a couple of times at the idea of being spanked for disobeying him. He wouldn't really..would he? Eyes becoming thoughtfully Cat tried to imagine that and couldn't see how he thought he could pull it off with her kicking and fighting him the whole time. Unless he knocked her out first..he was just mean enough to do that to get his way. If he did spank her, she'd never hear the end of it either. The guys would hear about it somehow and she'd never be able to raise her head in public again. "Would you really?" She demanded to know, hands going to her hips.

"What do you think?" Actually, he really couldn't see himself ever going to that extreme when there were better ways to punish her but Trowa wasn't about to admit that any time soon. She seemed to hate the idea a lot which meant threatening her with it might be a nice new way to keep her in line. Well, as much as he ever did.

She didn't want to look afraid in front of Heero, Wufei and Colin but Cat couldn't see any way of backing down that wouldn't get her butt tanned, possibly in front of witnesses if he decided to do it here and now. That idea too terrible to comprehend Cat sighed and gave in. "Relena and Noin want to go out to lunch and they want me to come for some reason."

"Must be a seafood place if you're willing to go."

Sticking out her tongue at Heero, who had been correct in nailing her motivation for agreeing to go, Cat turned back to her husband with a not at all amused by any of this scowl and a slight twitch under her left eye. "So can I go now and leave you boys to hopefully continue to torture that bastard dog who right now is calling me names that you all should be killing him over in my defense."

"Go ahead and call if you run into any trouble."

"Thank you so much." Was her sarcastic reply as she turned on her heels and strolled off before she gave into her urge to grab the leash out of Colin's hand and use it to swing the dog around like a slingshot until she'd smacked every last one of them upside the head with the mutt. They wouldn't think it was so funny then, she thought darkly, heading back into the building with dark clouds building up around her. But she'd get her revenge, oh but she'd get her revenge. A hot dog sounded real good right about now and she figured it was about time the food lived up to its name. Yeah, she'd make the guys some very, very special hot dogs, she thought with a decidedly evil smile on her face.

* * *

Twenty minutes later the men, unaware of what Cat was plotting, watched the dog being carried off with a mixture of amusement and outright horror. "Are you sure you should have done that?" Heero asked Colin slowly, the four men standing side by side as they pondered what they'd just allowed to happen.

"Well she obviously likes dogs." Colin pointed out weakly, a sinking feeling in his chest as he watched his charge disappear from sight. "And she really seemed to want him when I explained that I was looking for someone to adopt him."

"Only because thanks to a certain someone she has an all consuming hatred of cats." Wufei felt the need to point out, absently wondering what Cat would do if that dog succeeded where she herself had failed. No, it wouldn't go over well with Cat to find out that her latest arch nemesis had killed off her chief nemesis after years of her trying and failing.

"She'll probably just pass it off to one of the servants." Was Trowa's opinion on the matter. An animal lover he could never knowingly give an animal, even an evil, wife bashing one like that dog, to someone who would be cruel or mistreat it.

"So you think it will be okay then?" Colin asked, trusting Trowa's judgment most of all.

"Well..you just gave a former serial killer in a dog's body to a war loving, somewhat psychotic blonde who hates Cat as much as the dog currently does. In the end, it's a lot like Cat, I guess. They'll either bond and be very happy together or Dorothy will end up wearing him as a coat."

* * *

"Or he'll end up killing her. He could find a way." Heero reminded them, much to Colin's dismay and guilt. After all, there had to be few things worse to an angel than doing something that resulted in the death of someone else, even someone like Catalonia. "After all, Cat came pretty damn close a couple of times while she was a feline of the demented sort."

"True. The nails under her tires, the pushing the potted plant on her head, the acid in her coffee, the lit match falling down her shirt..." Rhyming off just a few Wufei didn't have to think hard to come up with any of them.

"I knew this was going to be a bad day." Colin moaned, laying his head in his hands as his shoulders slumped dejectedly. He couldn't begin to imagine what he'd possibly done to deserve any of this and could only conclude that Cat was right about the reason he kept getting these sucky assignments. Saint Peter was punishing him for getting Cat out of Hell. And now, he'd just given Saint Peter more of a reason to be gunning for him which meant he had to fix things and fast before something worse happened to him. "You guys are going to have to help me get that dog away from her!"

"And just how do you propose we do that?" Heero wanted to know, wondering just how Colin thought he was going to get that dog away from Dorothy, especially since the dog, sensing a kindred spirit, had practically leapt into the woman's arms. "She really is a dog person you know. They're really similar and I don't just mean the bitch part."

"She'll give it back to us if they don't get along." Trowa added, this unfortunately being the truth. "She'll blame us for sticking her with him anyway."

"If she does, we are damn well not letting Quatre near him." Heero stated firmly, wanting to make that perfectly clear. "He comes to our house and I'm using him for target practice."

"Uh oh." Colin said suddenly, his face darkening as his hands clenched into fists.

"What's wrong? Did he kill her already?" Heero wanted to know.

"No, it's Devlin. Cat just messaged me, he's at it again."


	10. Cat's Bunny Boy

Disclaimer: As always I own nothing but my original characters and the situations I put them in. Everything else belongs to somebody else and that's just the way it's gonna be till you guys buy me the rights to the series. Either way thanks very much for reading my fic and please review because I love to hear from you.

Cat's Bunny Boy

Well Cat was somewhat right in calling Colin and her secret weapon to the scene when she came under attack. She was in trouble after all, just not by the person she'd expected. Turns out, Devlin had a girlfriend and that girlfriend was seriously pissed off at her, Cat thought grimly, moving out of the line of fire. Literally. Apparently she was pissed off enough about her man's fascination with Cat that she'd decided to turn Cat into cat food. Also literally. Not the most creative of threats and the fire breathing demoness really hadn't appreciated being told that, much to Cat's delight. So now here she was, her hair singed, her clothes smelling of smoke with a serious mad going on. "For the last friggin time, Ugly! I'm not interested in your stupid man! He tried to kill me for Christ sakes! I have my own man...who's way hotter than yours!"

"Didn't you know that messengers shouldn't take their Lord's name in vain!" Was the snarled response as another fireball came flying in Cat's direction. Oh yeah, she was seriously pissed off now too. It especially didn't help that this messenger bitch her Devlin was hooked on was skinner than she was. Not to mention younger, the bitch.

Diving to the side to get out of the damn thing's way Cat could feel the rough concrete taking off layers of skin as she did a little somersault before bouncing back to her feet, cursing a blue streak. "That's rich coming from you." Sending out a beam of pure, holy light Cat watched in satisfaction as the bitch had to do some diving of her own. Thankfully the demoness had had to create a barrier in order to have this attack and so while there were people around them they could neither see nor sense them at all. They simply walked through the battling women and their attacks like ghosts. Needless to say it was freaking Cat out a little bit but it also had the side benny of their energy being all around her. Sure, not all of it was positive energy but there was more than enough to give her quite the boost in the power supply banks.

"Bitch, do you really think you can beat me!" Actually, she was a little worried the messenger could. Most messengers were at least somewhat angelic or on their way to becoming so. This one seemed to be an even bigger bitch than she was and just how was that possible?

"I don't think, I know." Shooting off multiple attacks, several of them hit the demoness and then, out of nowhere, a force field of some sort appeared, the bolts of light bouncing off them. Needless to say Cat wasn't at all surprised to see Devlin appear out of thin air, hovering over them both as he looked from the demoness to Cat with a mixture of amusement and glee. "Damn, two against one. Hell, I like those odds."

* * *

"Desmona, Desmona, just what are you and my little kitty cat up to?" Devlin inquired, the two women too busy glaring at him for interrupting to care that they were leaving themselves open to attack.

"I AM NOT YOUR LITTLE KITTY CAT, YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING, PRICK BASTARD!"

Raising an eyebrow at the language, very similar sentiments coming out of his lover's mouth Devlin ignored Desmona for a moment to give Cat his complete attention. "Really, such language, Catherine. What would your mother say?"

"Oh you don't want to know the sort of words I apply to her." Was Cat's dark response to that little dig. "But keep it up and I'll be happy to burn your pointy little ears with them. I'm told I'm very creative in the four letter word category."

"Quit ignoring me for this stupid little harlot!"

"A harlot?" Blinking Cat was so surprised to be called such a thing that she was struck dumb for a moment. "Okay...and people say I need to get with the times. Just how old are you, for Christ sakes?"

Bad question to ask. On a roar of fury over being reminded of things she'd rather forget the demoness charged at Cat with blood lust in her eyes, getting within two meters of her intended prey when another, more powerful beam of light came out of nowhere and had her crashing to the ground in a moaning heap.

* * *

Cat and Devlin both turned their heads to ignore Desmona for the moment, more concerned with the new arrival in the fight which came in the form of a truly gorgeous male messenger with off white wings, long blond hair and a daredevil smirk. "Where the hell have you been, asshole!"

"Nice to see you too, Cat." Was his amused response, walking over to join her side. "And for your information traffic was a bitch. I had to abandon my car four blocks from here and run the rest of the way." Flipping his blond braid back over his shoulder he looked rather like what you'd get if you combined Milliardo with Duo. The chiseled good looks with the devilish blue eyes and the charming grin. The European accent and wings didn't hurt either.

"That's what your wings are for, stupid bunny boy."

"Well it's not like no one would notice if I did that in broad daylight, cat girl."

"Don't call me cat girl. You know I don't like it."

"I'll stop calling you cat girl when you stop calling me bunny boy. I have a name you know."

"I know. I just chose not to use-" Whatever else she was about to say was cut off as they both noticed just in time that Delvin had decided to hurl a couple lightening bolts in their direction. "HEY! We're talking here, buster!"

"What can I say, I dislike being ignored." Was his oh so pleasant response as he helped a fuming Desmona to her feet, if only to shut up her screeching orders to do so. "Now I think introductions are in order, since this is most certainly not your guardian Colin. A mentor of yours perhaps?"

"As if. If anything, I've been a messenger longer than he has." Cat huffed, not about to tell the assehole her bunny boy's name. If he wanted to know he could look him up in the yellow pages under Messengers of God who actually enjoyed their job. He was twisted that way.

"So this is the demon after your ass huh? He doesn't look so tough." Cocking his head to one side the man in question couldn't quite see what the big deal was about since this Devlin guy didn't seem all that tough to him. The guy was wearing a pink shirt under his black suit for Christ sakes. That alone said something about him. He and Cat didn't agree on many things but when it came to pink they were of one mind. Pink was evil and should not be worn by anyone, regardless of gender or intelligence. Then again, the guy was a demon, maybe they had to wear pink as part of their punishment. Scary thought. Good thing he hadn't wasted his second chance.

* * *

Pulling up with a screeching of tires, the guys quickly got out of the vehicles they'd commandeered after Colin had flown off after giving them directions. All armed they hit pavement at a run, not even bothering to lock the vehicles as they took off in the direction of the square where Colin had said the battle was going on. The fact that people were walking around in the square once they got there, with no signs of a cosmic battle going on anywhere, threw them for a definite loop.

"What are you guys doing here? Have you seen Cat?"

Turning their heads simultaneously they watched Noin and Relena jog over to them. "That's what we were going to ask you." Heero answered, narrowing his eyes as he considered the idea that Cat had lied to them about her plans for the afternoon. "We thought she was with you."

"She was and then she wasn't. To be honest it was like she disappeared into thin air." Having been looking for the woman in question for close to fifteen minutes Relena was not happy with Cat at all. "One minute she was bitching about us stopping at every other window to look at stuff and the next she's silent and we turn around to find her gone. We checked the restaurant and she isn't there either."

"Is she in some sort of trouble?" Noin asked, looking pointedly at the holsters Trowa and Heero were making no attempt to hide from the general public. Which was probably why people were backing away from them with alarmed speed. Not that she could blame them, Trowa and Heero could be scary enough without being armed too.

"When is she not in trouble." Looking up in case there was an air battle going on that everyone had somehow missed Duo wasn't surprised to see nothing but clear skies and skyscrapers as far as his eyes could see. "Shit, we need to get ahold of Colin."

"Yeah, lets just call the Holy Hotline and get his pager number."

"Holy Hotline?" Raising an eyebrow Relena wondered who Duo and Heero were talking about.

"Long story."

* * *

About to point out that they were wasting time Trowa paused, his eyes having caught sight of someone watching them with something very close to amusement on his face. The man looked to be about their age, with dark brown hair and eyes, his clothes black and without any adornment. He looked rather like a cat burglar and this man's interest seemed centered on them for some reason. Leaving the others without a word he walked through the crowd towards the man, watching the smirk on the other man's face grow as he straightened to his full height. "Do you know where Cat is?" Trowa asked bluntly, vaguely aware of his friends coming to a stop behind him as he waited, standing directly in front of the amused man in black.

"And what makes you think I know where your little wifey is?"

"You know that she's my wife...and instinct."

"True...but instinct will only get you so far. Trust me." Grinning the man stuck his hands into his pockets, not looking at all fazed by the fact that he had five very impatient, very armed military men all glaring at him, waiting for him to tell them where their precious messenger was. "And as for where she is, well she's not staying in one place at the moment. Two demons trying to fry your ass makes a person move said ass a lot."

"There's two of them now?" Great, just who else had Cat pissed off since the last time they'd talked to her, Duo wondered with a wince. One demon was bad enough but two?

"Yuppers, but don't worry, her bunny boy is lending her hand and her guardian's on the scene too. Between the three of them I figure they've got it covered, unless of course another demon gets into it for the fun of it. I hear plenty of bets are being laid over this fight seeing as your wife really ain't all that popular Down Under if you know what I mean."

"Big surprise there." Wufei muttered, wondering just whose side this stranger was on. He'd lay odds that this guy was a demon too but the man didn't seem in any hurry to go anywhere, much less attack them. "So who'd you vote for?"

"Oh Cat, no question there. She's mean, damn mean when she's riled and she's right pissed off at the moment. I've got five hundred years in Hell riding on her."

* * *

"Okay...this is really very confusing but you guys seem to understand what the hell he's talking about so can you please clue us in?" Looking more than a little annoyed Noin gave the guys a dark look, Relena just looking confused as she waited for them to explain what was going on.

"Later." Brushing the outraged girls off Heero's focused his threatening ice blue eyes on the demon they had cornered. "You know a lot, including where she is so why don't you quit stringing us along and tell us where the hell she is before we start to get so impatient we start taking out all our frustration on you."

"Do you really think those little toys of yours scare me? Please, I live in Hell for Christ sakes. If I was afraid of being pumped full of a little lead I wouldn't have lasted three minutes down there. Besides, you are where she is, sorta. You're just in different dimensions, in the same place in time. Do you really think a battle between my kind and hers can be seen by human eyes? Do you have any idea what sort of chaos that would cause? People would think the Second Coming was on hand and then Lord only knows what you idiots would do. Course it would be rather funny, watching you all run around like chickens with your heads off as you tried to redeem souls past redemption." Looking amused at the idea the guys could easily see him trying to figure out just how to pull the stunt off.

"So she really is in the square, we just can't see her or the others. You can see them though?"

Arching one eyebrow at Quatre's question, which had disturbed the lovely imagery he'd been creating in his mind, the demon smirked. "Well of course I can. Why else would I be here if not to enjoy the show first hand."

"Can you help us to see it or is that beyond you?" Trowa asked, deliberately making the question sound as insulting as possible.

"I could take you into that dimension if that's what you mean but why would I do that? Do you think anything you boys could do to me can compare to what she'd do to me if I let you five get yourselves fried? We might not be allowed to kill you directly on this plane of existence but in the one they're in all deals are off. Knowing Devlin, the minute you lot stepped in he'd be gunning for you, using you guys as a way to get to her. The way Desmona is now, deliberately aiming for the child."

"The child?" Quatre repeated, not liking the sound of that at all. "What do you mean, the child?"

* * *

"Dammit all to hell, why the hell does she keep aiming for my gut? And why the hell does that hurt more than when she aims at any other part of my body!" Cursing under her breath Cat returned Desmona's fire with some of her own, one arm wrapped protectively around her middle. Shit, she hurt everywhere, her stomach especially which made no sense at all. According to the Messenger Handbook and Colin a Messenger's weakest spot was their heart so logically that was the place to aim for. Was Desmona's aim really that bad? The demoness bitch was looking pretty pleased with herself, she didn't look at all displeased with her aim, the skank. Whatever a skank was, having heard Duo refer to Dorothy as that once. Whatever it was, she hoped it was even worse than bitch because she was running out of new insults to hurl at the newest bane of her existence.

"Ready to give up?" Desmona called out, another fireball beginning to flare up in her open palm. Her Devlin was duking it out with that angel and hottie messenger but it didn't look like her evil sweetie was doing so well. She needed to finish off this bitch quick so that she could help him destroy their enemies before return to Hell.

"Sit on this and spin!" Was Cat's response, giving the bitch both her middle fingers for emphasis. Dodging the fireballs hurled at her in rapid succession the last one almost got her, Colin appearing out of nowhere to pull her out of the way just in time. "Thanks."

"Leave her to me, the child can't afford to take any more of her blows and she's aiming at him rather than your life force, the bitch whore." There was fire in Colin's eyes and he actually looked as pissed off as Cat was as he physically moved her behind him. She would harm the child over his dead body, Colin thought fiercely, his anger a scary thing to see. "Go find some cover and start boosting your energies."

"Child, what child? There's a child here somewhere?" Okay, now Cat was seriously confused. Desmona had been firing at her this whole time, ever since Bunny Boy had insisted on taking Devlin since he apparently couldn't hit, much less kill a girl, demoness or not. The idiot. Had Colin taken one too many blows to the halo?

"Your child, you idiot. The one...oh hell...Cat...please tell me that you didn't actually not realize that you were pregnant. How could you not notice another soul growing inside of you, for Christ sakes! You're a messenger of God! Souls are your business!"

Blinking very, very slowly Cat's brain slowly registered what Colin had just said. "Are you telling me that the reason that witch keeps aiming for my gut is because there's something growing in there?"

"YES!"

"Oh." Very silent for several moments Cat didn't even notice when Colin put up a shield against a volley of attacks from Desmona, returning them with some of his own which had the demoness diving for cover, since Colin was a lot stronger and more powerful than Cat. Turning his head to order Cat to once again move her ass to safety the words died on his lips as he caught sight of the look in her eye. Uh oh.

"They...attacked...my baby." Cat said slowly, her eyes fastening onto Colin's with chilling intensity, power beginning to gush out of her at an alarming rate, the strength and power of it far exceeding his own. "They attacked...my baby. They...are going to die now."


	11. It's All Colin's Fault

Disclaimer: As always I own nothing but the original characters and the situations I put them in. Everything else belongs to somebody else and that's just the way it's gonna stay, at least for the time being. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy this latest chapter!

It's All Colin's Fault

To say that Cat being informed about the baby changed the tide of events would be an like saying Cat didn't get along with Saint Peter. In other words, a huge understatement. It would be far more accurate to say that upon this momentous discovery Cat went completely and totally berserk, going on a killing spree that would be the talk of Heaven and Hell for years to come. Angels and saints would forever have night terrors as a result of this day while young demons aspired to achieve her level of maniacal evilness. Edits would go out as a result, ordering all demons to henceforth stay away from this messenger called Cat Rorake and her children's, children's, children's. Or until the second coming, which ever came first. Hell just didn't need problems like her if it could be avoided. In fact, as a result of this little incident, it was decided that everyone affiliated with Cat should go straight to heaven so that she would never feel the need to go to hell to retrieve them. Missing out on Heero Yuy's soul to maintain the peace seemed a small price to pay. Anything to avoid the fates that had befallen the demons Devlin and Desmona.

Blood and body parts went flying as Colin and Cat's friend wisely moved to the sidelines, letting Cat work off her rage so that there wouldn't be any left after to be directed at innocent parties. Mainly them. A small part of them would also admit that they were just too scared to risk getting in her way. Having her accidentally rip off one of their arms in her murderous haze was not an experience either was eager to go through. As it was, the sight of what was left of Desmona now that Cat was done with her was enough to have Yuy and Barton on the ground retching. Well maybe not retching, but wanting to.

"Scary."

Agreeing with the other man's assessment Colin nodded, wincing as he watched Cat straddle the formally unconscious Devlin, his charge gleefully ripping the hair right off Devlin's head, a few strands at a time. Desmona was now nothing but a black smear of matter on the ground and Devlin was definitely in no shape to fight Cat off, seeing as she'd severed both his legs earlier on. Common sense told him that if he didn't get in there soon Cat's soul was going to be beyond saving but he just couldn't get his legs to cooperate.

"I'm Jeff by the way." Holding out his hand the two shook hands, both making an obvious effort not to watch or listen to Cat as she continued to tell Devlin what she was going to do to him, in vivid detail, once he was completely bald. Cat always had had an unfortunate way with words.

"Colin. So you're the rabbit huh? The one from the plane?" Jeff wasn't one of his charges but he did recall Cat having met up with another second chance candidate years back who'd been stuck in the form of a rabbit. Cat had called him bunny boy and he was obviously another messenger of God, though this trainee's wings were a hell of a lot purer looking than Cat's. Cat's were going darker by the moment.

"That's me all right. Nice to meet you, Colin. My advisor speaks highly of you. Apparently everyone admires you up stairs, because she hasn't driven you insane yet." Pointing his thumb in Cat's direction Jeff instinctively winced as Cat started to discuss castration by way of a rusty spoon. Thank God he was on her side.

Wincing as well Colin could literally feel the blood draining out of his face. Did she have to be so damn descriptive? "Oh give her time. She'll manage to put me in a padded room yet. I might just let them too, to get away from her." And if he didn't want her wings to be black as night shortly he had better go over there and pull her off of the demon she was currently torturing. A messenger killing a demon could be justified but torturing it first crossed over into gray area. Very gray area. The last thing he wanted was to have to attend another meeting to convince the powers that be that Cat wasn't in league with Satan. It always felt too much like lying. "Wish me luck, I'm going in."

"You'll need it." Jeff agreed with a pitying look, guessing what Colin intended to do. Thankfully he was under no obligation to stop Cat, thus probably getting killed in the process. Unlike Colin, he wasn't immortal and wanted to stay alive for a while yet.

* * *

Enjoying his role as commentator the demon took a great deal of pleasure in describing the battle to his captivated audience, sparing none of the gory details, much to the girls disgust. Whoever this guy was, he painted a very clear, very disgusting picture. "Well shows over, the angel boy is pulling her off Devlin. Pity that. It's always a pleasure to see her going psycho on someone's ass. She does it so beautifully, brings tears to my eyes." Wiping away an imaginary tear the demon grinned at the pilots and the girls who were looking decidedly sick to their stomachs. "They should be reverting back to this time shortly, from the looks of things." He added, since the blonde guy had already opened his mouth to ask again. "Though Colin is going to have some bruises, pulling her off her prey like that. She never did take kindly to someone moving in on her fun."

"Is the child you mentioned okay?" Quatre wanted to know, switching to his second question. The demon never had answered their question about the unknown minor he'd mentioned earlier, refusing to discuss anything but the fight only he could see. Apparently something had really set Cat off though and Quatre assumed she'd gone into high gear to protect the kid from harm. Cat had a real soft spot where kids were concerned, though she'd deny it with her final breath. But how had a child gotten into the other dimension in the first place? He hadn't noticed any mother running around the square looking for someone. Could the child be a ghost perhaps? Ghosts couldn't die again, could they? And why was the demon being so evasive about the kid in the first place? He obviously knew something, something he was enjoying keeping from them.

Grinning wickedly the demon nodded his dark head. "Oh aye, he's fine. His mum's taking good care of him. Well as good as she's capable of, being who she is."

"Is Colin okay?" Heero could only imagine how pissed Cat had to be, having Colin stop her fun. Not for all the money in the world would he be in Colin's shoes at this moment.

"He'll live, what with being an angel and all. She's probably set her rehabilitation back a couple decades though. You'll have your work cut out for you, Winner, if you really want her going to heaven once she croaks again. Then again, after this, I don't think either side is going to want her any time soon. They'll probably just skip to reincarnation right away, hoping she improves the next time around. Which isn't bloody likely, but the heads of heaven and hell tend to be disgustingly optimistic."

"How did you know my name?"

"I know all about you guys. I've made it my business to know."

Now that didn't sound good. "Why would you want to know about us? Are you someone else with a beef against Cat?" Duo could only imagine the hundreds of demons in hell just waiting for a chance to cause Cat problems. Then again, after this, he could only imagine how many demons were rethinking that idea. Man, Duo couldn't begin to phantom anyone wanting to go after her now, if Cat had been even half as vicious as the demon guy had described.

Laughing, a surprisingly merry sound all things considering, the demon shook his head. "No, I have no beef with Kit Kat."

"Kit Kat...? Like the chocolate bar?"

"Speaking of which...here they come now." Pointing to a spot in the middle of the square the men turned to watch the crowd going by, three people seeming to materialize in the flurry of activity so that if you'd blinked you'd have never seen them appear out of thin air. An unknown man about their age seemed to be supporting Colin, the angel leaning heavily against the blonde man while Cat stood a small distance from them, obviously cursing a blue streak as she ranted, occasionally pausing to jab a finger in Colin's direction. She was singed, a little bloody, and furiously alive.

* * *

Forgetting about the demon the group headed towards the trio with Trowa in the lead, everyone instinctively getting out of their way, just as everyone was taking a wide berth around Cat who was giving off some very scary vibes. Whether she caught sight of them or just sensed their presence, Cat turned her head to see them coming, waving off whatever the unknown guy was telling her as she moved through the crowd to meet them.

"This is not my fault."

Raising an eyebrow at the unusual greeting Trowa gave into his need for contact with a simple stroke of his fingers against her smudged and dirty cheek. "What's not your fault?"

"The fact that I didn't call you for help. Anna said I should have called you before instead of Heero and that if I did it again you'd make me sleep on the damn couch. I would have called you before but he came at me out of nowhere and then we were in that other dimension place and phones don't work there. I tried to call you. You can't yell at me!" Actually she hadn't really tried, but there was no way cell phones could work in paranormal dimensions. They rarely worked in normal time.

"Am I yelling?"

"No...but you might be thinking about it." He didn't seem mad though, which was a good sign. She really wasn't in the mood to get in an argument with him right now. Right now, all she wanted to do was kick Colin's ass and then Jeffrey's for stopping her the first time.

"Why were you yelling at Colin?"

"Because he's a big stupid head." Her bottom lip sticking out in something that strongly resembled a pout Cat looked a great deal like a child who'd just been told she couldn't stay up an hour past bedtime. "He killed Devlin before I could!"

"Because you were torturing him." Colin wheezed out, having made his way over with Jeff's help, fairly sure that Trowa would stop her from coming after him again.

"Ouch, what did she do to you?" Duo wanted to know, wondering if angels felt pain to the same degree that humans did.

"If he had balls before he's going to have a hard time finding them now."

* * *

All the guys sending Colin very sympathetic looks Quatre figured it would be wise to change the subject by asking the same question he'd asked the demon earlier. "Cat, what happened to the child that was in the dimension with you? This demon we met said there was a child with you, that that was what set you off on your little killing rampage."

"Chi..chi...child?" Repeating the word slowly like it was foreign Cat slowly went pale, the blood lust fading away so that all that remained was the overwhelming terror and fear over the little bomb Colin had dropped on her earlier. Child, the child. Her child. Growing, living, swimming around inside her. Oh God. Sweat breaking out on her forehead Cat did what came natural to her whenever she was in a dire situation and didn't want to deal with her fear and or admit her own responsibility. "It's all Colin's fault."

"My fault? How the bloody hell can it possibly be my fault?" Aghast Colin stared at Cat, completely blown over.

"I don't know. It's your fault somehow. It's his fault." Her voice pitiful Cat stared up at her husband with eyes that shimmered and a bottom lip that trembled with emotion. "It's all his fault, really." That being said Cat wrapped her arms around her startled husband's waist and buried her face in his shirt, hunching her shoulders so that her face wasn't visible as she hung on for dear life.

Since Cat was into public displays of affection about as much as he was Trowa knew something big had happened. "You. Angel, messenger, whatever. What's going on?"

"Messenger. Jeffrey. We met when I was a rabbit in a hideous pink carrier. Anyway...well." It wasn't really his place to tell the guy he was going to be a father, but from the looks of Cat, it wasn't going to be her either. It might as well be him as anyone else. "Basically..well...messengers have the abilities to sense souls, to recognize their presence. Cat's been feeling a lot of soul power within her lately that she thought was left over from you guys lending you some of your souls' power. But actually, what she was sensing was another, whole soul. One that's living inside her body and is gonna stay there for at least the next eight months, give or take a couple of weeks."

* * *

Mouth opening and closing a couple of times Trowa slowly looked down at his wife's head, her grip tightening if that was possible. Wrapping one arm around her waist, Trowa used his free hand to reach down and slid it under her chin, forcing her to look up at him and meet his gaze. "You're pregnant?"

"I don't want to talk about it!" Trying to break free of Trowa's iron grip Cat's face crumbled when she realized he wasn't going to let her go. "It's in there, it's in there growing legs and arms and junk. It's going to kick my organs and mess with my sleep and when it comes out it's going to be really unhappy, especially when it finds out what sort of mother I am. It'll just grow up to resent me and curse God for sticking it with a mother that doesn't know what the hell she's doing and should never have kids in the first place. Oh God...why couldn't you be the one that's pregnant?"

The end statement shocking him so much Trowa let her face go Trowa watched in a daze as Cat took advantage of that to go back to burying her face in his shirt. Ah hell..what the hell was he supposed to say now? Kids with Cat had seemed like a far off possibility that neither of them had talked about, much less given much thought to. And she had a point..what sort of parents would they be?

Since it was obvious Cat wasn't up to hearing congratulations Quatre opted to simply give her what he hoped was a comforting pat on the back. "It will be okay, Cat. You'll see. Your baby will love you, just like we do."

Cat's response was a quick head shake in the negative.

"Would you like us to get you, like some water or something?" Wufei asked, shoving his hands in his pockets since babies made him as uncomfortable as Cat.

"Water...yeah...I'm going to get some water." Pulling away from Trowa Cat took a couple steps back. "I'm...I'm...gonna go get some water...I'll be right back." Like a zombie Cat turned and woodenly walked towards a nearby hot dog stand, one that she'd noticed during her earlier tirade. Rum or whiskey suited her mood at the moment but she couldn't have that anymore. God dammit.

"Hey Cat!" Waiting till Cat turned to look at him Duo did his best to cheer her up. "Look on the bright side. At least you aren't having kittens!"

"Kittens...plural..more than one...OH MY GOD!"

Turning his head Trowa gave Duo a look that had sent more than one seasoned soldier running in fear for his life. "If what you just said affects my chances of having more kids, or my sex life in any way, shape or form, I'm going to find a rusty spoon and Cat won't be the only one doing a little castrating today."

* * *

Leaving Duo to turn as pale as a ghost Trowa went after his wife, finding her staring dumbly at the hot dog vendor who was trying to get her to tell him what she wanted. "Two bottles of water please." Pulling out his wallet Trowa paid for the waters then led Cat over to a nearby bench, pulling her down to sit beside him before he handed her her water. "Drink."

After taking a moment to remember how to get the cap to come off Cat finally unscrewed it properly and tipping her head back took a long, thirsty gulp of water, draining half the bottle in the process. Pausing for air Cat glanced at Trowa out of the corner of her eye. He was taking this a lot better than she was. That annoyed the hell out of her. "Well?"

"Well what?"

"What do you think about all of this? What are we going to do?"

"We're going to be parents, Cat. We really have no say about that at this point." Taking another sip of water Trowa tried to phrase that a little better, since even to his ears it sounded like the wrong way to express his feelings on the matter. "Neither of us is going to have any idea what to do but we'll learn. We wont be the worst parents in the world."

"How you figure that? I'm a bitch. I'm always going to be a bitch. I like being a bitch. It's who I am. You can't be a bitch to a baby. You can't yell at them or punch them or leave them at the side of the road to rot. Parents are supposed to kill people that try to do that to their kids, not be the ones doing it!"


	12. An Eventful Life

Disclaimer: As always I own nothing but the original characters and the situations I put them in. Everything else belongs to somebody else and that's just the way it is. Thanks so much for reading, my best to all, and have a great day.

An Eventful Life

Once Cat got used to the idea of being pregnant things settled down some. Or they did until she figured out that she could use her pregnancy as an excuse to behave however she pleased to whomever she pleased. After all, what kind of monster picked on a pregnant woman at the mercy of her hormones. Playing it for all it was worth Cat drove everyone to distraction with her demands for food, deference and understanding for her bitchy nature. Of course the Preventers, not being stupid, figured this out within a week and most refused to give into her. Visiting ambassadors and emissaries thought...well in those cases Lady Une practically shoved the news of Cat's pregnancy down their throats to excuse the other woman's behavior. Cat was having a lot of fun watching her do it too. Needless to say, Lady Une spent quite a lot of time praying to the powers that be that Cat got stuck with a brat even worse than its mother.

Trowa remained pretty calm throughout Cat's fits, unruffled by his wife's behaviour since she knew better than to try to pull that sort of crap with him. Cat was actually sailing through her pregnancy with disgusting ease, and Trowa took the approach of leaving her to her own devices up until the time of delivery. Then, he imagined, he'd have to take his life into his own hands in his attempts to stop her from trying to kill the doctors and nurses cursed with the duty of assisting their child into the world. Like most animals, his wife did not react well to pain in the company of strangers. If only he and the guys had been with her, Trowa imagined Cat would do her best to get through the labor without a peep, too vain to let them see for one moment that she was hurting or remotely scared. Strangers however, well Cat wouldn't give a damn what they heard and saw and would want them to be in as much pain as she was simply for being within grabbing distance. He'd have quite the fight on his hands, of that he was sure.

)

Cat had had about three weeks to get used to the idea of being pregnant when Colin dropped in to pay her a visit. Since Colin's visits were by nature unwanted, Cat was not particularly happy to see him and hot busy trying to think of how best to use her baby as an excuse not to do her job.

"Oh save it." Was Colin's firm statement, holding up a hand before she could launch into a barrage of excuses.

"Save what?" Was her somewhat pissy response, since she was getting the vibe that he was going to take Trowa's route and refuse to treat her any differently because of her condition. God. what a man, Cat thought in admiration, thinking of her husband. It took a real man to put a pregnant woman in her place the way he did. He wasn't taking any of her shit, that was for sure. Even she would be nicer to a pregnant woman, if only out of fear of causing a premature delivery. It was going to be bad enough going through it herself without having to see someone else go through it first. It couldn't be pleasant.

Reading her thoughts Colin had to bite back a grin. "No, I imagine you'll tramatize everyone that comes in contact with you." He informed her. "And you'll have to take birthing classes, you know. Then you WILL get to see what's in store for you."

Giving him a pitying look Cat smirked. "Who do you think is dumb enough to try and make me?"

She had a point. Who WOULD be stupid enough to think she wouldn't shove pointy sticks in their eyes if they tried to make her?

"Quatre?" Colin finally offered, but only because Quatre was smart enough to know that not even Cat would sink to physically harming him. Psychologically maybe, but you had to be made of stronger stuff that Cat to hurt someone like Winner.

Since Quatre was acting more like the prospecting father of her child than Trowa, Cat could see the blonde being naive enough to think she'd go to such a thing as birthing class, or whatever it was called. This could end badly...for him.

"Please don't hurt him." Colin was fond of Quatre, especially since he was Colin's only active ally in trying to reform his charge.

"Don't get your harp in a knot." Was her eye rolling response. "So what do you want anyway?" She'd rather think about disappointing Colin, than giving Quatre ulcers by refusing to act like a proper expecting mother.

"Have you been by to see Elizabeth lately?" Colin asked, knowing perfectly well that she hadn't.

"Duo has." Actually, Cat found it rather funny that Duo had taken up for the ghost, going to talk to her even though everyone assumed he was talking to himself. He couldn't even have a real conversation, since he couldn't hear her without she or Colin there to make it possible. Duo could be so stupid sometimes. "And don't get started on how it's my job to help her, not his. I have that speech memorized by now, thanks."

"Considering the amount of help I've provided you with lately, you'd think you could at least show me some small thanks by at least pretending to half heartedly do your job."

Raising an eyebrow, Cat wasn't feeling the least bit guilty or remorseful. "Look, Angel boy, I get what you're saying but really, what's the big? She's HAPPY where she is. You're the one being all obsessive about her being happier in the Pearly Gates of Heaven. If it's not her idea of heaven, why should she go there after being a goody two shoes all her life?"

"You know very well that souls left too long on earth get corrupted."

"I'd like to see the demon that tries. She's gotten some tude since she kicked the bucket." Just to shut Colin up Cat had indeed looked up the history of the ghost and had found it highly snooze worthy. The woman had never gotten so much as a parking ticket or library fine. Someone like that was the reason people like her thrived. It was scary really, to think what the world would be like without the meek and morons to pick on. And the meek will inherit the earth? Hell, they'd keel over simultaneous of heart failure at the hint of that occurring.

"Exactly. She's tough, but not tough enough to stand against the likes of you."

"Quit reading my mind. And are you suggesting I'm as bad as a demon?"

"I'm saying you are point blank."

Thinking that over Cat grinned. "And who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks. Now that you've figured that out, does that mean you're finally going to leave me alone?"

"You wish."

"With all my heart." Cat agreed.

Crossing his arms in front of him, Colin gave her a considering look. "You have a heart to wish on?"

"I tricked Trowa into giving me his." Was her sneaky response. "Poor bastard."

"I'm sure he agrees."

)

"What did I give you and why am I a poor bastard?" Trowa asked as he entered Cat's office, having spotted Colin through her office windows while walking past. Despite his decision to leave her to gestating, Trowa had a general policy of keeping his wife out of trouble and so always took an interest in anything to do with Colin and her messenger work.

"Nothing." Cat answered in a sing song tone of voice. "What's up? If it involved Ghostbusting Colin's ass, I am so in."

"Ghostbusting?" Colin repeated, knowing he should be insulted but not exactly how or why.

"A movie about men who hunt down ghosts and suck them into machines. Late 20th Century." Trowa supplied, having had to suffer through the movie and its sequels in the past.

Shooting Cat a dirty look, Colin was not amused.

"Neither of you have appreciation for the classics." Was Cat's opinion, leaning back in her chair with a disgruntled look.

"Classics?" Colin scoffed, giving her a look reminiscent of a teacher faced with a mentally retarded student. "That is not classic film making, thank you very much. Classic is Hitchcock, Bogart and Brando. Hepburn and Harlow for gosh sakes. If you're going to rot what little brains you have with television, at least watch something worth seeing."

"Hitchcock? I've seen some of his stuff. I liked 'The Birds'."

"You would." Feeling Trowa's silent inquiry, it was Colin's turn to provide a synopsis. "It's a film about a coastal town that comes under attack by hundreds of birds bent on killing every human being in their paths in between acts of mass property destruction. You'll never look at a seagull quite the same afterwards."

That got Cat snickering.

"I see." Yeah, he could see why that movie would appeal to someone as demented as his wife. Lord knows she'd almost memorized the dialogue from Jaws. "Well as a former cat, birds would be of particular interest to you."

That put a stopper in her snickering. "So you never did say why you were here." She reminded her husband, ignoring Colin for the moment.

"I saw Colin in here."

"I came to tell her that she wont be assigned any jobs until the infant is born." Colin informed him, knowing that the thought of said jobs had probably been weighing on Trowa's mind, especially after all the trouble with Devlin. "She only has Elizabeth left to deal with, but apparently she feels unequal to the task."

Eyes narrowing Cat regarded him susupiciously. "What do you mean, unequal to the task?"

"I mean that you obviously consider her too stubborn and tough for you to handle. That's understandable, you are a wife and future mother now. It's only natural that you be mellowing somewhat.

Mellowing her ass. "I am not mellowing." She snarled, looking not the least bit mellow. "I am the Queen, no the Empress of Bad Assness. There is no greater bitch than me. How dare you suggest that some...some ghost whose afraid to go to heaven is tougher than me!"

"She's still here, isn't she?" Trowa pointed out, giving Colin a hand since he really was only doing this for Cat's own good.

Looking like she'd just been accused of wearing pink, frilly underwear, Cat didn't know which one of them she wanted to stab with one of her handy pens first.

"Oh well, I should probably just assign Elizabeth to someone else." Colin announced with a sigh, shrugging his shoulders. "I'll find someone who feels up to the task of getting her home."

"She's my assignment, don't you dare give her to someone else!" It was one thing for her to refuse to do it and another thing for it to be suggested she couldn't do it. Telling Cat Barton that she couldn't do something was like telling a small child not to help themselves to the fresh batch of cookies cooling on the table. It just made her want them more.

"Well then, I guess I'll leave her to you then."

"You do that."

Sometimes, Colin thought as he bit back a smile, she made it just too easy.

)

But the task wasn't nearly as easy as Cat had thought, since Elizabeth proved to be her equal in the stubbornness department. Of course part of it was the fact that Elizabeth knew Cat couldn't carry out any of her threats of bodily harm. owing to the fact that Elizabeth didn't have a body to disembowel. Of course that only led to Cat threatening to dig Elizabeth's former body up, but Elizabeth was of the opinion that Cat wouldn't dare, if only because Cat wouldn't want to have to see her rotting corpse. So the two women were at an impasse and took to seeing each other every Monday to bitch at each other. The months went by and Cat got bigger and more bitchier, and it was with great irony that Cat found herself in the beginnings of labor during one of these visits.

"Are you sure you're all right?" Elizabeth asked, someone concerned despite the fact that Cat had just called her mutant gas exhaust. Cat had been wincing and rubbing her back ever since she'd arrived and Elizabeth couldn't imagine that all this arguing was good for someone within weeks of their due date.

"Bite me."

"I haven't had my rabies shot in decades." Was her smart response. "And seriously, Duo said you were supposed to be taking it easy, doctor's orders."

Rolling her eyes Cat ignored the voice in her head that said the ghost had a point. "And you listened to him? He's even dumber than the doctor. Which is saying something."

Rolling her own eyes Elizabeth was too used to the Duo cracks to bother objecting.

"So seriously, are you going to keep making me come here?" Cat asked, praying that the pains would hold off for a while yet. At least until the hot dog vendor appear across the street to provide her with some lunch before she headed home. Trowa and the others kept forcing health crap on her and she was seriously craving some mystery meat.

"Nobody's forcing you to come." Of course she looked forward to these visits all week, but Elizabeth wasn't about to admit how lonely she got these days, now that she could remember what it was like to connect with other people.

Cat's tough response was cut off by a hiss of pain as she reflexively clutched her stomach.

".God." Slapping her hands over her mouth Elizabeth goggled at Cat. "You're in labor, aren't you?"

"Am not."

"Are too." Looking around frantically Elizabeth forgot for a moment that no one else could hear her as she called out for someone to help her friend. Of course no one answered her or even looked up, she was a ghost after all. Only Cat, the person who needed help, could hear or see her. Turning back to Cat Elizabeth started wringing her hands. "You have to call someone to get you. Like now!"

"I want my hot dog."

Aka, she wanted to put off the whole labor thing as long as was reasonably possible.

"A hot dog? A stupid, God only knows what they put in it hot dog! Are you out of your nearly none existent mind? You need to get to a hospital!"

A sly, downright evil gleam coming into her eye, Cat gave Elizabeth a considering look. "What's it worth to you?"

Staring at her Elizabeth didn't know whether to laugh or scream. She knew exactly what Cat was suggesting and the idea was too unbelievable to really be believed. "Are you trying to bargain with me to go to heaven? Are you actually risking your health AND your baby's just to get me to leave? You really are out of your mind."

"I'd feel better knowing you were okay in heaven instead of here, possibly being preyed on my demons and Duo."

"Oh please." Shaking her head Elizabeth wasn't buying that one. "You're really one of a kind, you know that don't you?"

"I'll name her after you if it's a girl."

Staring at her Elizabeth would have cried if she'd been capable of it. "Okay..I'll go. On one condition."

"Done. Now call the ambulance, Cat." Colin announced, appearing out of nowhere.

"Wait, what did you two just agree to?" Cat demanded to know in between pants.

"She's going to be your baby's guardian angel."

Looking back and forth between Colin and Elizabeth Cat shrugged. "What the hell, the kid's going to be screwed up anyway. Holy, Damn it, Christ. Colin, call a damn ambulance, you moron!"

"Already on their way."

)

Arriving at the hospital's maternity wing at a dead run the Preventers soldiers headed straight for the desk nurse who pointed them in the right direction. They had just entered the right hallway when a doctor exited a room and turned in their direction, blood all down his front due to the fact that his nose had just been violently broken. Holding a ice pack against it, the doctor was on his way to get one of his colleagues to X-ray it.

"That's Cat's doctor." Wufei stated, no doubt in his mind.

"One of you is Trowa Barton?" The doctor asked in a nasally, pain filled voice.

Stepping forward Trowa nodded, surveying the damage his wife had wrought. "My wife?"

"She and the baby are fine. Please get in there to protect my nurses."

"Yes, Sir."

The men hurrying around the doctor Quatre paused just long enough to apologize for Cat's behavior before following the others into the room the doctor had just vacated. The room was a bright, cheerful yellow and laying on a bed in the middle of it was Cat, who was dressed in a pale green hospital gown and busy glaring at one of the nurses who seemed to be in the middle of weighing a squirming bundle.

"Heero, watch her." Cat ordered as soon as they entered the room. "I don't like the look in her eye and I'm not up to taking her down."

"Yeah right." Was the nurse's muttered opinion. "And you just accidentally broke Doctor Trice's nose."

"I told him to stop telling me how to breath."

Walking over to stand by his wife's side Trowa gave her a questioning look. "You couldn't wait for me to get here?"

"When an eight pounds, six ounces baby boy wants to come out, you let him out." Was her less than amused response.

"And here you go." The nurse announced, coming over to place the baby into Trowa's steady arms. "If you need anything..wait until three o'clock to ask. I'll be off shift then." Trading a look of understanding with the new father the nurse quickly got the hell out of there. She needed coffee and a dark room like nobody's business.

"What did you do to her?" Duo asked curiously, as he moved to get a better look at the newest member of their family.

"I opened my mouth."

"That would do it." Heero agreed with a small smile.

"Well he's just beautiful." Quatre announced, trying to look on the bright side. He'd rather not think about the possibility of the hospital sueing them at the moment. "Did you two ever decide on a name?"

Looking over in the corner where Colin had been watching, Cat gave her superior a small smile before turning her smile in Quatre's direction. "Colin Quatre Barton...after his godfathers."

"She just wants to make sure that no matter how screwed up she makes him he'll still get into heaven." Colin said after clearing his throat, something he'd been doing a lot since she'd announced her baby's name to the nurse doing the information recording.

"That too." Cat agreed with a wider grin.

"Who'd have ever thought things would end up like this." Looking from Cat to the baby nestled so securely in his father's arms, Quatre couldn't help but grin like a fool while shedding a tear or two. "I saved a suicidal cat from being hit by a car and now look at her, human and a new mother."

"Yeah, there's never been a story quite like mine." Cat agreed, reaching out a hand to brush her fingers along the tiny fingers of her son.

"Well you're one of a kind, no question there." Colin agreed.

Smirking, Duo knew it had to be said.

"And thank God for that."

Colin was pelased to relay, "God says you're welcome."

The End


End file.
